


Hazy Love

by BuckyBetta



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Complete, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Bonding, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Reconciliation, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Cynthia Murphy Tries, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Larry Murphy Tries (Dear Evan Hansen), M/M, Meeting the Parents, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, One Big Happy Family, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Singing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Treebros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 24,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyBetta/pseuds/BuckyBetta
Summary: (THIS STORY IS CROSS-POSTED, I ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS ON WATTPAD! I AM THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR)Connor Murphy is, more often than not, high. After a drug-fueled encounter directed at Evan Hansen, a cute tree enthusiast from his school, Connor finds himself taking a liking to the smaller boy.
Relationships: Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy (implied), Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Cynthia Murphy/Larry Murphy, Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen & Heidi Hansen, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Heidi Hansen & Connor Murphy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	1. "That Murphy Kid"

Connor Murphy walked through the hallways, seemingly walking in slow motion. The kid practically radiated hate. He wore all black, including black boots. He had sickly pale skin. If one were to look closely, they'd realize that his long, dark brown hair was greasy and knotted. You would see his blue, half-brown eyes were slightly red and glossy. But no one cared to get that close.

Ever since second grade, after the 'Printer Incident', Connor had been seen as 'That Murphy Kid'. He was a nobody. The school stoner, the Emo kid, the 'school shooter'. His sister, Zoe, was praised, while he was left to the darkness. So he was angry. He used weed. He stayed alone, so he wouldn't get hurt.

That was, until a chance encounter with Evan Hansen.


	2. A Chance Encounter

"What are you, an acorn?" Jared Kleinman snickered, watching Evan Hansen grow red with embarrassment. Evan just stood there, taking the insults. He was trying to regulate his breathing, not wanting to have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway... _again._

"I-It's not th-that... I uh-" Evan tried to explain, but he was interrupted by Jared. He could never get a sentence in with normal people, let alone Jared, who was definitely NOT a normal person. Apparently, though, Evan was no longer Jared's main focus.

"Loving the new hair length, Connor. Very school-shooter chic." Evan turned suddenly, and was greeted by an alarming presence. Connor Murphy stood at at nearly six feet, and was intimidating to be around. Evan crinkled his nose, Connor smelling like... something? Evan couldn't place it.

Connor glared at Jared, deadpan. Jared's douche-y exterior melted for a millisecond, his eyes reflecting fear. Evan was holding his breath, praying for Jared to just drop it. But, as predicted, his prayers were futile. Jared was soon back to his trademark smirk and asshole attitude.

"It was a joke, Hot Topic. Calm your nipples." Jared spat, sarcastic. Connor's eyes flashed rage, before he returned to his deadpan expression.

"Yeah, no, I'm laughing." Connor deadpanned, before his anger came back. "What, am I not laughing hard enough for you??"

"Jeez, you're such a _freak_." Jared murmured. The whole time, Evan zoned out, too nervous to pay to much attention to the situation unfolding in front of him. He was observing Connor absentmindedly, noticing the little things about him. Looking at Connor, he noticed some things he had never seen before. He noticed his left eye was a deep blue, with a splash of brown at the bottom left of the iris. He had his nails painted black, with the polish slightly chipped in some places. His eyes were also slightly glassy and bloodshot.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Connor scowled, snapping Evan out of his daydream. Connor stared at Evan, almost as if he were trying to figure him out. Evan blushed deep red, before slightly chuckling , a nervous habit of his. He instantly regretted it. Connor's eyes stayed neutral for a moment before blazing with anger.

"Why are you laughing, do you think I'm a freak??" Connor's voice was raised and angry. Evan looked around nervously, avoiding eye contact. He looked around for help, but quickly realized that Jared was no longer in the hallway. ' _Hecking Spruce.'_

Evan looked back towards Connor, who was now right in his face. Evan looked directly into his eyes, fearful of what Connor would do.

" _I'M_ not the freak, _YOU'RE_ the fucking freak!" After the last word, Connor moved forward, forcefully shoving Evan, who yelped before losing balance and falling to the ground. He looked up in time to see Connor stare at him a moment, their eyes meeting. Suddenly, Connor turned on his heel, running away, leaving the smaller teen to his thoughts.

_'What the ever-loving pine had just happened??'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, I wonder where Connor is running off to..?


	3. Connor In The Bathroom

Connor was panicking . He could feel his high wearing off, and he didn't want to have to deal with himself. He didn't want to face his shitty problems. _Why did he shove Evan??_ It was **KLEINMAN** he had an issue with, not Evan. Connor took one look at the confusion, fear, and sadness in Evan's blue eyes, and he had taken off. He was such a _coward..._

Connor's thoughts swirled, his legs carrying him to the second floor men's room. He swung open a stall door, his hands trembling as he locked it behind him. He had tears clouding his eyes as he sunk to the dirty tile floor of the bathroom. His breathing was uneven, and he felt so hot. Why was everything so _hot?!_ He pulled his legs to his chest, sobbing into his knees, his mind in total disarray. He scratched at his arms, leaving red marks trailing down to his wrists, which were covered in red slashes of their own.

Connor had been like this for _years_ now. He never got any better. He had tried, and there were moments when it seemed like maybe, just _maybe,_ he could be okay again. But it never stuck. He would always end up falling back to weed. It made him feel as close to relaxed as he could get. It was his only escape. Connor had no friends, no family that cared. His father was an asshole who didn't give a shit about Connor, his own mother had just given up, accepting that she couldn't fix him. And Zoe...

God, Connor had fucked up that one. He had done so much to her; it was no wonder she hated him. There were times, _so_ many times, that Connor had done her wrong. He would sometimes come home, high, and beat on her door, threatening to kill her. He would cuss her out, and had even hit her. She was his baby sister. _He_ was supposed to protect her, but instead, _he_ was the one who harmed her. 

He would be doing everyone, _EVERYONE,_ a favor if he just...

Let go.

**^^^^^^^**

It was the end of the day, and Evan had not seen Connor since he had shoved Evan into the lockers. Now, Evan sat in the computer lab, working on his letter to himself. He couldn't focus. He was too confused. He had to know what happened to Connor. He didn't understand why he cared, but he had to make things right. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, abandoning his letter, choosing instead to pursue Connor.

He exited the computer lab, speed-walking towards the double doors marking his exit. He suddenly collided with another body, and he panicked, looking for the person he had ran into, praying they wouldn't be mad.

Zoe Murphy was on the floor, _oh god_ , Evan had just collided with his long time crush _oh god_ she would hate him.

He rushed to help her, tears brimming his eyes. He couldn't do anything right. There went any chance he had with Zoe...

"O-oh god, I-I'm s-so sorry, I.. I didn't m-mean..." Zoe looked up, her gaze seeming pained. This shut down Evan's rambling. She shook her head, and Evan just used his good arm to pull her up.

"Thank you, it's... not a big deal. Don't worry about it." Zoe rubbed her head, wincing slightly from the impact. Evan just stared, dumbfounded that Zoe hadn't yelled at him. She began to walk away, snapping Evan out of his trance, remembering something.

"Z-Zoe, d-do you know, um, w-where Connor is...?" Evan stuttered out, Zoe's face falling slightly at the mention of her brother before her expression hardened again. She looked up and met Evan's eyes, her expression now cold.

"Yeah... he's in the hospital."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W H O O P S-


	4. A Bad Person

"W-wha-" Evan looked at Zoe, unable to comprehend what he was being told. What happened? How did it happen? Did he cause it?? Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He looked up in surprise as Zoe reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. Her expression was still uncaring, but her eyes were sympathetic.

"He's okay, according to what I gathered from my mom's hysterics," Zoe seemed slightly miffed and unsympathetic, "They found him in the park, I guess he tried to kill himself... _again_..." Zoe mumbled the last part, seemingly dispassionate.

_Tried... Kill Himself... Again..._

These were the only things that registered for Evan. Zoe had started to walk away, towards the school exit. Evan shook himself awake.

"W-wait! C-can I go? Um... I mean, uh... see him? I... I kinda wanted to t-talk to him I g-guess uh... ImeanIunderstandifIcan'tImeanhejust-"

"Wait, hold up... you actually want to see my brother? Why?" Zoe stopped dead in her tracks, turning to Evan, seemingly genuinely confused. Evan didn't trust himself to speak, so he just hesitantly nodded. Zoe actually and literally scoffed, turning and walking. Evan just stayed still, unsure of what to do. Zoe yet again turned to look at him, eyebrows arched, seeming annoyed.

"Well? Aren't you gonna come _'see Connor'?"_ Evan just nodded again, hurrying after Zoe.

^^^^^^^

_Connor woke up in a bright room, his head pounding, body sore. He was free of his normal black hoodie and the clothes he had previously had on, instead wearing a skimpy hospital gown that barely went past his knees. He cursed, wincing as he felt the constriction of a breathing mask. He gave up, laying back on the thin hospital mattress, succumbing to exhaustion._

^^^^^^^

Evan sat in the passenger seat of Zoe's car in tense silence. He had scooted as close to the window as possible, just watching the world fly by. He was zoned out, trying everything to avoid actually **TALKING** to Zoe Murphy. But, eventually, the awkward silence and endless questions drove Evan to conversation.

"U-um so, w-what happened to him? C-Connor, I mean." Evan stuttered, unsure if his questions were dumb. He was stupid for even assuming Zoe had wanted to talk. He needed to fix his mistake or she'd _hate_ him... "I-I mean, sorry, that was stupid, I-"

"No, it's okay. This really isn't anything new. This isn't the first time Connor has done this. I told Dad that Connor needed help, Mom too, but I guess it wouldn't have fixed much anyways... well, from what I could comprehend, he took a bunch of pills and someone found him at the park and called an ambulance. He's stable, but maybe this time Dad will take this shit seriously..." Zoe seemed angry, but strangely unconcerned. She had been keeping her eyes on the road, but know she turned to Evan.

"Why do you even _care_? I saw Connor shove you. He's a bad person. You can't just change him. He'll hurt you again, you know that, right?" Evan was shocked. He turned away from her, not wanting to face that she might be right. Evan was a loser, and Connor would probably just hate him as much as everyone else. The tears returned to his eyes. Zoe also had tears in her eyes, seething with rage for her brother, the one who had abused her for years. She wiped her eyes, choosing instead to put on the mask of uncaring. 

**^^^^^^^**

Connor awoke, acutely aware of how much everything hurt. He felt miserable. Why did he have to live. Tears welled in his eyes. He couldn't even kill himself correctly. God, he was so _fucking_ stupid. 

He heard the door open, and he quickly dried his eyes, putting on a neutral expression, looking up to see who had come in. He got the shock of his life, which probably reflected on the heart monitor.

Evan _FUCKING_ Hansen stood in the doorway, and, as if that wasn't weird enough, he seemed _HAPPY_ to see him.

"What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the GOOD shit next...


	5. Hospital Visit

"What... what are you doing here?" Connor avoided eye contact, attempting to stay cold and uncaring. It wasn't working. His voice cracked, giving him away. Evan winced, pulling at the hem of his usual blue-striped polo shirt.

"I-I, um, I kinda w-wanted to talk?" Evan stuttered out, finally looking up at Connor. Connor met his eyes, expression blank. Despite himself, Connor chuckled.

"Was that a question or a statement, Hansen?" Connor laid his head back down, staring at the ceiling, still smirking. Evan cringed again, slowly making his way to a chair beside Connor. Connor turned towards Evan, still not taking his head of the pillow.

"U-Um, y-yes? I... I mean, yes. Yeah, i-it was a statement." Evan was a deep red, his face feeling as if it were on fire. Connor chewed his lip, considering what he should say. He was certain that this whole situation was some kind of joke. Evan was just here to mock him, or to harass him, which Connor couldn't blame him for. He had sorta-kinda been a huge dick. 

"Look, Hansen, I really don't care, okay? Seriously, how the _fuck_ did you even find out I was here? It's pretty obvious no one cares, I mean, hell, my own family isn't here, why should you be? I'm not a good person, Hansen, and I'm not gonna lay here and take your shit." Evan was speechless. He didn't understand what he had done. He shrunk down into the chair, willing himself to disappear into the floor. Connor had returned to glaring at the ceiling. 

"U-um, you d-don't have to talk? I uh, I just... I wanted to apologize for earlier..." Connor was absolutely floored. Someone had come to apologize...? It wasn't even Evan's _FAULT!_ Had he really died? Before Connor had a chance to say anything, Evan had scooted the chair closer to his bed. He produced a single rose from behind his back, holding it out as a peace offering. Connor's jaw literally fell wide open. Evan realized his mistake, cheeks turning even more red with embarrassment. 

"U-um I-I'm so sorry, th-that was so weird, uh, I understand if you hate me i get it I'd hate me too I-"

"Why?" Connor refused to look at Evan, guilt eating away at him. He had tears blurring his eyes, his cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment. It was Evan's turn to be shocked. Never, in a million years, had Evan ever assumed Connor Murphy to show any emotion other than anger. His hands suddenly felt sweaty, and his throat felt dry as he searched for something to say.

"I... I'm sorry. I j-just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for Jared, he... h-he's not the best person, b-but... he's kinda all I h-have?" Evan felt pathetic, he was absolutely sure that, if he didn't already, Connor certainly hated him now. _Oh god, he was such a moron. Why did he always mess everything up?_ His thoughts were interrupted by a cold hand brushing against his. Evan's head snapped up, and he watched as Connor delicately removed the rose from his good hand. For a brief moment, their eyes met, and Evan saw something he had never seen in anyone's eyes.

Understanding?


	6. "Friends"

"So... thanks, er, whatever? I'm not good at this..." Connor mumbled, turning his head quickly, cheeks pink with embarrassment. He hated that he couldn't look Evan in the eyes... _why_ couldn't he look him in the eyes?!

"Y-you're welcome?" Evan rubbed his (broken) arm, face red as a tomato. Neither boy had any idea how to continue. Evan was squirming wildly, uncomfortable beyond belief. _SMACK_.

Evan was on the floor. He breathed a pained _"shit"_ , glad he hadn't landed on his injured hand, but embarrassed beyond any reasonable measure. God, he was a _fucking_ moron. He was about to get up and run for the door when he heard a noise that sounded like... crying?

Evan looked up, and what he saw made him want to hurl himself out of the 22nd story window. Connor was _LAUGHING._ Evan pushed himself to a sitting position on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as Connor cackled like a maniac. After several awkward seconds, Connor's laughing ceased, and he was able to look at Evan again. He was ready to poke fun at the smaller boy, but the sight in front of him killed any intentions of being a dick he had previously had.

Evan was curled on the floor, his head buried in his knees, which were up against his chest. He was also trembling violently. Connor frowned, feeling extremely asshole-ish. He took a deep breath, terrified of what he was going to try to do... Connor Murphy was going to attempt to make a _friend._

"Hansen, er... Evan?" Connor choked out, barely loud enough for Evan to hear. Evan wasn't sure he _had_ heard correctly. He lifted his head up, just enough so that he could see Connor, who was attempting to sit up in bed. 

Evan almost cried out in surprise when Connor looked directly at him, now fully upright, and opened his arms towards him, attempting a small smile. Evan apprehensively scooted closer, hesitantly got up, and awkwardly wrapped his arms around Connor's shoulders. Connor winced slightly, having not had a hug in a _LONG_ while. 

Once he adapted to it, Connor patted Evan's back, attempting to comfort the smaller boy. To his complete shock, it worked. Evan pulled away, wiping his eyes, managing an uncertain smile. He sat back down on the chair, blushing and pulling on the hem of his shirt.

Connor cleared his throat, laying back down, his face feeling like it was on fire.

"So, uh, how'd you break your arm?" Connor asked, stumbling on his words. 

_'I let go.'_

"I... um, I _fell out_ of a tree? Uh, yeah." Evan pulled at the casting on his arm, feeling taunted by how empty it was. Connor had also noticed this, so he decided to do something about it.

"Well, do you have a sharpie?" Evan's neck hurt from looking up so fast, as he was shocked. Someone... wanted to _SIGN_ his cast? Connor was looking at Evan's arm, choosing to avoid his eyes. Evan fumbled with his backpack, which was sitting next to him, his face still blazing.

"I-I mean, you don't have to, really it's not a big-"

"Just get me a damn sharpie, Hansen." Evan swallowed hard, nodding his head, choosing to focus on retrieving the marker. Once he found it, he held it out to Connor, who looked at him quizzically.

"See, I've never signed a cast before, but I'm pretty sure I need a cast to sign." Connor said, voice dripping sarcasm as he uncapped the sharpie before offering his other hand to Evan. Evan nodded hesitantly, placing his broken arm in Connor's hand. Connor pulled it towards his chest, a little too fast, causing Evan to wince in obvious pain. 

"Sorry." Connor mumbled, looking down at the cast, scrawling his name in huge letters across said cast. Once he was finished, Evan pulled his arm to himself, examining the signature.

"Now we can both say we have friends."


	7. Finding Common Ground

Evan was _sure_ he hadn't heard Connor correctly. He was _POSITIVE_ he hadn't.

"I-I'm sorry, w-what did you say?" Evan stuttered, utterly bewildered. Connor rolled his eyes. _This kid..._

"Seriously? I asked if you wanted to be my _friend._ You could've just said 'no', I get it. I'm a freak, a stoner, a _'school shooter'._ Don't play _dumb,_ Hansen. Why do you think I'm _HERE?_ I don't have _anything_ to be proud of. And when I do try to do anything right, it fails. Every. Single. _Fucking._ Time. I get it. I _DESERVE_ to disappear." Connor shouted, tears brimming his eyes. Evan watched Connor, speechless. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat, reaching a trembling hand towards Connor.

 _"DON'T-"_ Connor jerked to the side, hissing in the pain brought on by his sudden movement. Evan flinched, retracting his hand. _"Son of a-"_ Connor's eyes widened, his cold hand suddenly engulfed in warmth. Connor looked down, blushing a light pink as he saw a hand holding his. He looked at Evan, who was looking back with tears in his eyes.

"I-I'm j-just surprised... it has n-nothing to d-do with you... I-I just d-don't understand? W-why me? N-no one's ever w-wanted to be my f-friend... I-I'm n-not sure you'd w-want to, um, b-be my friend..." Tears were now flowing freely down Evan's reddened cheeks, his grip on Connor's hand tightening as his breathing quickened. He was sure Connor was going to hate him.

"Evan, look at me." Evan slowly looked up, meeting Connor's eyes yet again. "Let's just, breath, okay? In for 5, hold for 7, out for 5." Connor started breathing, Evan following his example. Soon, Evan had calmed down enough to speak. He smiled a watery, embarrassed smile.

"S-sorry... I, um, I kinda have anxiety...? U-um,-" 

"You don't have to be sorry. You can't help it, Hansen. It's fine." Evan was grateful, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

"U-Um, and, Connor?" Evan said, having a sudden burst of confidence.

"Hm?"

"I'd l-like to b-be your f-friend."

^^^^^^^

The week had finally passed, and Connor was scheduled to be released. Since the attempt, Evan hadn't seen anyone but doctors and himself come into Connor's room, and though Connor said he didn't care, Evan could tell that he did.

Evan and Connor had grown relatively close over the week, Evan spending all available time with Connor, as both felt better in the other's presence. Evan hadn't let his mother know WHO he was seeing, only telling her that he was visiting "a friend". Heidi was overjoyed, of course, and decided not to press her son for too many details.

The day came for Connor to go home, a day he was, to be honest, dreading. Evan and Connor walked out of the elevator and into the parking garage, where Connor was quickly able to locate the small car he and Zoe shared. Connor slide into the driver's seat, inhaling deeply, comforted slightly by the familiar smell of the car. Evan joined him in the passenger seat, remembering the day he had found out Connor had tried to kill himself. The thought made him want to cry; he and Connor were so close now, he couldn't imagine a universe without him.

Connor drove, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, softly singing along to _'This is Gospel'_ by Panic! At The Disco. He stopped, blushing when he noticed Evan staring at him, slack-jawed. He blushed lightly, avoiding Evan's eyes, paying _WAY_ to much attention to the road.

"T-that was r-really, um, pretty... I l-love that s-song..." It was Connor's turn to stare at Evan. He wouldn't have taken Evan as the kind of person to listen to _P!ATD._ That, and the fact that Evan had actually LIKED his singing. 

"Really, well, now it's your turn." Connor nodded his head towards the radio, which had now turned to _'Perfect'_ by P!nk. 

"Do you know this song?" Connor asked, glancing at Evan, who was as red as a tomato yet again. Connor couldn't help but smile, Evan was adorable when he was flustered. 

_What? Where did THAT come from?!_ Connor's thoughts were interrupted by a soft, but clear and angelic voice singing along to the song on the radio. Connor took his attention from the road, watching Evan. Evan was staring out of the window, slightly tapping his fingers on the glass, singing softly while still blushing madly. Connor also blushed, hypnotized by Evan's voice. He didn't interrupt, choosing to focus on the road, allowing himself to lose himself in Evan's vocals, feeling at peace for once in his life.

It quickly ended as they approached the driveway of his house.


	8. "Daddy" Evan

As soon as Evan and Connor pulled into the Murphy's driveway, any good mood died. Uncertainty covered the car like a dirty fog, smothering any further conversation. 

Connor turned the car engine off, not moving, just sitting in the driver's seat; he didn't want to go into that house. Evan noticed, and reassuringly (and awkwardly) patted Connor's back in an attempt to comfort him. In turn, Connor grabbed Evan's hand, earning another blush from Evan. Connor smirked at Evan, watching him for a minute before letting go and opening the car door. It was time for Connor to face his family. 

Evan and Connor walked to the door, Connor's hands stuffed into the pockets of his usual black hoodie. He was already pissed off, and he hadn't even gotten through the damn door. He stalled, fiddling with the knob, hesitant to go in and face his family, specifically Larry.

Once they were finally inside, Connor grabbed Evan's hand yet again, and quickly guided Evan inside, walking quickly but quietly, hoping to avoid any conversation. They were halfway up the stairs when...

"Connor Laurence Murphy, get down here and... who the hell is this?" Larry emerged from the kitchen, Zoe and Cynthia silently watching from the table. Connor rolled his eyes, expression sour. He turned around, facing his family, deadpan. Evan watched, incredibly nervous, from behind Connor.

"A friend, _Larry_. This doesn't concern you. I think you may want to get that stick out of your ass, that can't feel good." 

"Connor Murphy, don't talk to your father that way!" Cynthia started to walk towards her son, but Larry threw his hand up, blocking the doorway. 

"Cynthia, don't. Let me handle this. Connor, _don't_ speak to me like that. You should know not to bring strangers here, _especially_ after all you've done. I'm guessing he's you're dealer or something?" Larry glared at Evan, who was cowering behind Connor, tears brimming his eyes. Connor took another step towards Larry, gritting his teeth, fighting the urge to slap his father. He returned Larry's death glare, watching him for a moment before he returned to his neutral expression.

"You know what Larry? Fuck you. Why the fuck do you even _CARE_? You sure as hell didn't care before, or else we wouldn't even _BE_ in this situation. Maybe if you had taken this shit _seriously_ , NONE of this would've happened. And, just so you know? Evan isn't a _fucking_ dealer. Now leave. Us. Alone." Connor made to walk away, fuming, but Larry grabbed his wrist, keeping him from leaving.

"Connor Murphy, how _dare_ you speak to me like that. I care because I am your _FATHER._ " Larry was shouting at this point, Evan holding onto Connor's arm for moral support, whimpering quietly. That was the final straw for Connor.

 _"HA!"_ He spat dryly, getting in Larry's face. "Well, _DAD_ , that may be true. You may be my _BIOLOGICAL_ father, but guess what? Evan's my _DADDY._ " Connor was smirking at Larry, standing over him. 

The room was deadly silent. All the Murphy's, plus Evan, looked at Connor, eyes wide as dinner plates. After a few seconds, it was Larry who finally broke the silence. 

"Connor... get out. We will... we will discuss this later. For now, I _DON'T_ want you in my house. Go and get your things, and leave. Just... leave." Larry turned away, walking back into the kitchen, not wanting to look at Connor. Zoe and Cynthia stared at Connor, who, after giving Larry the finger, turned and calmly walked to his room, dragging a beet red Evan behind him.

**^^^^^^^**

Evan and Connor drove in relative silence, Evan still a blushing mess and Connor unable to contain his hysterics. Once Connor's laughter died down, Evan looked up at him, face bright red.

"C-Connor, um, s-sorry for t-the language, b-but, w-what the fuck?" Connor slammed on the brakes, looking at Evan in shock. 

"Wow Ev. Didn't know you had it in you to say _'fuck'._ " Connor laughed, but it was empty and cold. He refused to look at Evan

"C-Connor? Are... are you o-okay?" Evan placed his hand on Connor's shoulder. Connor finally turned and looked at Evan, giving him a tired, sad smile.

"Yeah, Hansen. It's all good." Evan was about to press further, but he was but off by the blare of a car horn, making him jump and let out a surprised yelp, turning towards Connor, fear in his eyes as he worked to control his breathing. Connor glared at the old woman in the car behind them, sticking his head out the window, flipping her off.

"HEY GRANNY, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!" Connor yelled. She started to exit her car, cane in hand. "Shit!" Connor tore off down the gravel road, far, far away from the woman with the heavy object.

The drive continued for nearly 30 minutes in complete silence, Evan staring out of the car window, watching as the scenery gradually changed from suburbia to countrysides. Evan finally worked up the courage to ask Connor, "W-where did y-you say we, um, w-were g-going again?" Connor glanced at Evan in the rear-view mirror.

"You said you like trees, right?"


	9. The Orchard

The rest of the ride continued in a comfortable silence, Evan anxious to see where they were going. They had been driving nearly an hour, getting farther and farther away from civilization. All Evan knew was that they were going somewhere where he could see trees, which made him giddy beyond belief.

Connor stopped the car at a hole-in-the-wall place Evan didn't recognize. In fact, this place seemed like it hadn't seen any visitors for forever.

"C-Con, w-where are we?"

"Welcome to the Apple Orchard, Ev." Connor said, gesturing to the fields, cheeks a light pink from the nickname. Evan's eyes immediately lit up in child-like excitement. Connor blushed even redder, turning away so Evan wouldn't notice. They walked towards the gate, but Evan suddenly stopped. He grabbed the sleeve of Connor's hoodie.

"U-um Connor? A-are you s-sure that w-we can _be_ here?" Evan stuttered out, looking up at the gates, which held a beautiful emblem of an apple shaped like a heart. Though, the beauty was slightly diminished by the iron chains adorning it. Connor smirked at Evan, before wrapping one hand around the chains.

"Nope, but that doesn't mean we can't still get in." Connor had begun to scale the gate, the climb not taking long due to his height. He awkwardly stumbled over the gate, falling on his ass rather ungratefully. Still, Connor laughed at himself. He looked up at Evan from the other side of the gate, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Well, are you coming Hansen?" Evan gulped, holding his cast close to his chest, nervous but oddly curious. He nodded slowly, wrapping his good hand around the chain. He, too, began to climb up, trying not to look down. He reached the top, swinging his leg over the top...

Suddenly, Evan lost his balance. He could feel himself falling, being transferred back to the top of the Tree, and he screamed, waiting for the impact of the hard ground.

It never came. Instead, he felt the warm embrace of lanky arms. He opened his tear-filled eyes in amazement, staring up at Connor, who had managed to catch him... _bridal style._ He blushed madly, suddenly embarrassed. Connor coughed lightly, his cheeks also very red. He set Evan down.

"Ev, are... are you okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you do that. You could've gotten hurt." Evan sniffled, looking up at Connor. He smiled at him, tears brimming his eyes. Connor had caught him. He wrapped his arms around the taller male, burying himself in the now-familiar smell of his only real friend. Friend. It was nice to say.

"I-it's okay. Y-you _c-caught_ me, Connor." Evan held onto Connor, who had his head on top of Evan's, rubbing circles along the smaller boy's back, still blushing slightly. After a few minutes like this, they both stood up, equally intense blushes decorating their faces. Connor gave Evan a rare, genuine smile.

"C'mon, let's stop with the sad shit. I wanna show you something." Connor suddenly took off, running towards the horizon. His long legs carried him far, very fast. Evan, with his short stature, had a difficult time keeping up. Still, he laughed, chasing after Connor. They ran for what seemed like hours, across flower fields, past huge apple trees; the sun setting before them.

Once they reached a grassy hill top, Connor stopped very abruptly, giving Evan no warning. Because of this, Evan went crashing into Connor, who landed on his back, Evan landing across his chest. Connor went still, eyes wide open, staring at the open sky. Evan panicked, quickly turning over, pushing himself up so his head was just above Connor's, Evan's arms planted next to the taller boy's shoulders. Connor just stared up at Evan's cute, worried face, losing himself in Evan's eyes.

"C-Connor?! Oh god, I-I'm s-so sorry, I d-didn't _know_ y-you were g-gonna s-stop, I-"

Evan's stammers were cut off by a pair of lips slamming into his own.


	10. You Deserve Better

Connor quickly pulled away, face totally red. He was mortified; he looked at Evan, who was frozen, face equally red, lips slightly parted. Evan stared ahead, totally zoned out, trying to process what had just happened.

"God, Evan, I-I'm sorry, I- I don't know... God, I'm such a fuck up, Evan I understand. Don't feel pressured to do anything just... I'm so fucking stupid." Connor had tears pouring down his face as he pulled his knees to his chest, burying his head into his hands.

Evan watched Connor, unsure what to do. He was still shocked. Connor had kissed him. And... he _liked_ it? But... he was straight, wasn't he? Evan was so confused, thoughts going a mile per minute. They sat in complete silence, the only sounds those of rustling and Connor's sobbing. Evan broke out of his trance after a moment, and he gulped, scooting closer to Connor.

Evan grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. Connor looked up , staring at their hands, shocked at the physical contact; he had assumed Evan would hate him.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Connor continuing to cry, before Evan broke the silence.

"W-why?"

" _Why_ what?" Connor replied, staring at the ground, out of tears. He sounded miserable.

"W-why _me_? I... I'm s-straight." Evan stared at the ground, incredibly confused. Connor looked up, holding his breath. "A-and, I, um, I a-already like s-someone else..." Connor deflated a bit, but he had expected this.

"Who?" Connors voice was monotone, and he didn't look at Evan. 

Evan hesitated a moment, but decided that Connor deserved to know. He blushed, before stuttering out, "Z-Zoe?"Connor looked at Evan for a second, before beginning to laugh hysterically. Evan was shocked, releasing Connor's hand, watching him cautiously. Connor stopped laughing, wiping away a few tears in his eyes.

"Sorry Hansen, but you're out of luck. Zoe's dating someone else. You know Alana?" Evan's eyes went wide, and he looked at the ground, disappointed, but having expected it. Connor's heart broke seeing how hurt Evan looked. He grabbed Evan's hand again, giving him a sympathetic smile. 

"I'm sorry Ev, that was uncalled for. God, I'm a total asshole. And on top of it, I'm a fucking _idiot_. How could someone like you ever someone like me?" Connor squeezed Evan's hand, looking away from him. Evan looked at Connor, genuinely confused and shocked. 

"W-what do you m-mean? I... I'm h-hardly even a s-someone. I... I have a-anxiety, I f-freak out when someone e-even l-looks at me, a-and I h-have to take med-medication to stay n-normal. M-mom is great, b-but s-he's never around b-because she h-has to pay f-for me by h-herself. D-dad left, and h-he never c-calls or w-wants to see m-me because I'm a _mistake._ " Evan squeezed Connor's hand, huge tears rolling down his cheeks, eyes shut. Connor's eyes widened. Sure, he knew Evan had some issues, but he had never heard the smaller boy sound so... broken.

"Evan, look at me. In sixth grade, I started to drift away. I started getting bullied pretty damn bad. I always angry, sad, and just generally... stuck. I got into fights, cussed teachers and people out, and began to smoke. Mom tried to help after my first suicide attempt, but Larry was still convinced I had just done everything for attention." Connor spat bitterly, trying to regain composure, "Anyways, he refused to let me get help. So I turned to drugs, mostly pot and shit. I pulled away from everyone. If someone here is a fuck-up, it's me." Connor sucked in a breath, tears lining his eyes. He gave Evan a sad smile.

"Connor..." Evan said, choking back tears. Connor pulled him into a tight hug, both openly sobbing now. Evan was the first to pull away, and Connor looked at him, tears coming to a stop. He put a hand on Evan's face, wiping away the remaining tears that ran down Evan's cheeks. Evan blushed lightly.

"C-Connor, c-can... um... _canIkissyou?_ " Evan quickly said. Connor chuckled, leaning down, and the two shared a sweet, tender kiss. They remained like that for awhile, before Connor pulled away, seeming upset. He avoided Evan's gaze, choosing instead to watch the ground.

"C-Con? D-did... did I do s-something wrong?" Connor's head shot up. He felt like an asshole, but he was _scared._ He breathed in deeply before finally looking at Evan.

"Ev... you deserve better than who I am. At least, right now. Evan Hansen, I _like_ you. But I can't... I can't hurt you. So... I'm gonna go to rehab. I'm gonna work this shit out so I can be who you deserve. You don't need an unhealthy relationship on top of everything. But, I need your help Ev." Connor smiled at him, reassuring the boy. Evan had tears in his eyes, and he threw his arms around Connor. Connor took a moment to adjust, but he squeezed Evan tightly, loving the warmth of Evan's small body. Evan lifted his head, looking Connor in the eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, Connor Murphy." He crumpled into Connor, snuggling against the taller boy. Connor's eyes yet again filled with tears, and he ran his hands through Evan's hair. They stayed like that until they were asleep, a tangle of limbs and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Connor's finally gonna seek out help! Yay!


	11. Lulu's & A La Mode

Connor woke up, incredibly sore. He was hazy, and he began to worry he had gotten high again. He sat up quickly, only to feel the constriction of limbs wrapped around is body. He looked to the side, jumping when he saw Evan Hansen spooning into his side. The smaller boy's mouth was open slightly as his chest gently rose and fell. Connor smiled at Evan, relishing in how cute he looked. He kissed Evan's lips lightly before carefully prying himself from the other boy's grasp.

Connor stood up, stretching. He sleepily rubbed his eyes, pulling his phone out of his pocket lazily, checking the time.

11:42. _Shit._

Connor panicked, watching Evan. It would take at least an hour for them to get back to the Murphy household, and he knew Larry would be an ass about everything. He also didn't want to wake Evan, who looked so peaceful, but they also needed to eat at some point. Connor's stomach rumbled at the thought of food. He quickly made his decision, picking up the sleeping boy bridal style, making his way to the Orchard's gate.

**^^^^^^^**

The two drove in peacefully, Evan now fully awake, chattering to Connor. He had woken Evan up to get over the gate. The smaller boy had damn near had a panic attack, but he was reassured by Connor. Luckily, this time had gone without incident. Connor cringed at the memory. They continued the ride, the only background noise that of Evan's cute tree ramblings. Connor wished the moment would last for forever.

Eventually, Connor pulled into a small plaza, parking in front of a small, seemingly older building. The sign read "Lulu's Pies", with a smaller sign beneath reading "A La Mode". Connor started to open the car door, but he suddenly stopped when he heard a small whimper come from his right.

Connor looked over, seeing Evan looking absolutely petrified, staring at the small building with wide eyes, his breathing heavy and unsteady. Connor mentally face-palmed, of COURSE Evan would be nervous. He hadn't had his medication for almost 24 hours, and even then Evan couldn't _stand_ interaction. He had witnessed this first-hand, _multiple_ times. He cringed at the memory of when Evan had to tell a nurse the Connor needed meds. _THAT_ had been a disaster...

Connor quickly made his way to the passenger side door, opening it, bending so that he was eye-level with the shivering boy. Evan sniffed, tears flowing down his face. He didn't want to have to order food, and on top of it all he was embarrassed that he was so pathetic as to start having a panic attack at even the _thought_ of ordering _food._ He was _17,_ he should be able to order some _HECKING._ _FOOD._ He just cried, turning away from Connor, not wanting the other boy to see him like this. He felt so utterly stupid.

Connor watched Evan, feeling helpless. He took a breath, and leaned in towards Evan, grabbing both of the smaller boy's hands in his own. He whispered encouraging words into Evan's ear, rubbing circles along Evan's back, just letting the boy ride out his panic attack.

"C'mon Ev, we both need to eat. It's _just_ a small diner and ice-cream shop, and I'll order for you, okay? You won't have to do _anything."_ Evan sniffled, looking at Connor, nodding hesitantly. Connor smiled at Evan lovingly, giving him a tight hug before leading him out of the car. Evan stayed close to his boy, gripping Connor's hand firmly.

Connor pushed open the door to the small diner, the bell above it giving a _ding_ to acknowledge their entrance. The small woman at the register looked up, immediately smiling at Connor, rushing over.

"JENNA, BECKY! COME SEE WHO _FINALLY_ CAME TO SEE US!" Connor smiled anxiously, Evan backing away as the smaller woman engulfed Connor in a hug. Connor was momentarily stunned, but he eventually, halfheartedly, hugged her back. Evan averted his eyes, blushing, slightly _(very)_ jealous. The small girl pulled away from Connor, turning her attention towards Evan.

"Who's this cutie-pie, Con?" Evan, blushing, looked up quickly, noting the girl's Southern accent. She had approached him, examining him closely. Connor calmly pulled the young waitress away from Evan, slightly annoyed.

"Dawn, this is Evan, my... friend." Connor awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, blushing lightly.

"Just a 'friend', hm?" Connor looked up, seeing to woman approaching them. One was a bigger woman; her hair was done up in a messy bun. The other was skinny, smiling tiredly at Connor as she balanced a pie in one hand, and a babbling young girl in the other. The small child looked up at Evan, giggling lightly, and Evan couldn't help but smile, making silly faces at the young girl; she shrieked in delight, clapping her hands. Connor knew EXACTLY which of the two woman had made the snide remark, and he rolled his eyes, blushing slightly.

" _Ha ha_ Becky, really funny. Evan's just my friend" He trudged over to Becky, awkwardly wrapping his arms around her. She squeezed back too tight, but let go after a second. She placed her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrows at Connor. _'Oh god.'_ Connor thought, ' _SHE KNOWS.'_

The other woman approached Evan, who shrunk slightly, pulling his arms to his chest anxiously. She gave Evan a small smiled, before carefully placing the pie in her right hand onto a nearby table. She extended her hand to Evan, who hesitantly shook it. She laughed, her accent also a strong Southern drawl. 

"Hey Evan, was it? Any who, I'm Jenna. This little gal is Lulu, my daughter, AND the namesake of our little place. Any friend of Connor is a friend of ours. We've practically watched the kid grow up. Not that he ever comes to see us anymore." Jenna playfully stuck her tongue out at Connor, who blushed further in embarrassment . 

Evan laughed, blushing at how cute Connor was. He was feeling a bit more comfortable, especially with the toddler, Lulu, who was currently reaching towards Evan, laughing brightly. Evan continued to coo at the child while Connor conversed lightly with the three woman. Eventually, Dawn cut in with, "Now, what can we get y'all two to eat today?"

**^^^^^^^**

Connor and Evan sat at a small booth, telling jokes and making light conversation as they licked their respective ice-cream cones. Connor looked at Evan, noticing some Rocky Road that had somehow wound up on the smaller boy's nose. He giggled, and Evan looked at him, confused

"W-what's wrong? I-is there s-something on m-my face?" Connor laughed, nodding. Evan blushed lightly, grabbing a napkin and wiping his mouth. "S-still there?" Connor smiled, leaning towards Evan, extending a hand, wiping the ice-cream from the other boy's nose. Evan blushed yet again, looking into Connor's eyes.

"Now its not." Connor and Evan were both blushing, Connor, still with his elbows on the table, leaned in, eyes closed, as Evan returned the gesture. Their lips met, and they shared a light kiss.

"I KNEW IT!" They quickly pulled apart, both red as apples, and turned toward the register, where Dawn, as well as Jenna and Becky (with Lulu), watched the two boys. Connor groaned. _Of fucking course._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the filler chapter, I wanted to give y'all some nice fluff before I destroy your feels :-). Second of all, in this universe, Lulu's Pies/Joe's Diner and A La Mode are separate facilities, but they share a connected building. Also, the Waitress characters know Connor because of his family coming to the building so many times, so they're almost like mothers to him, despite them only being about 12 years older.


	12. Formulating A Plan

Connor and Evan had long finished their ice-cream, and Connor was chatting with the three waitresses, while Evan played with the little girl, Lulu. Jenna was watching absentmindedly keeping an eye on the two, while also talking with Connor. Connor, too, had most of his attention on Evan and Lulu, cheeks a light pink at how cute Evan was with the small child, making goofy faces. Eventually, all eyes were on Evan and Lulu. Evan sensed this, and looked up, stopping dead in his tracks when he realized that he had an audience. He blushed red, making to slink away, but both Jenna and Connor came forward.

Jenna thanked Evan, giving him an appreciative smile, "Maybe y'all can come by more often, so Lu can play with Evan here. You're a real natural kid, I'd even pay ya for your time. I could use the help 'round here." She now had Lulu in her arms. Connor helped his tree nerd up, and Evan blushed red at Jenna's praise.

With Connor next to him, he felt comfortable enough to give a somewhat witty reply, "T-thanks, um, I-I'll except payment i-in m-more pie?" He gave Jenna a small, uncertain smile. Connor laughed, pretty hard, along with the three woman.

After some more light conversation, Evan gave the signal to Connor that he was ready to go. He promised Jenna that they'd come back and he'd help watch Lulu. Jenna agreed to the pie payment. The establishment had begun to develop an after-work crowd, and they exchanged goodbyes, before Connor and Evan took off.

**^^^^^^^**

The two males drove for awhile in comfortable silence, before Evan broke it. "C-Con?"

"Hm?" Connor had a slight smile adorning his face, extremely content.

"U-um, d-did y-you mean it w-when you s-said you w-were gonna g-get h-help?"

Connor's expression tightened, the air suddenly uneasy. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, chewing his lip.

"I... I _really_ want to, Ev. But... I'm _scared_. I'd have to be away for _so_ long and I-I really don't know if Larry will even _LET_ me go..." Connor's knuckles whitened as his grip on the wheel stiffened in anger towards his father. Evan noticed this, and was unsure what to do. He sucked in a breath, and did the first thing that came to his mind. He placed a hand on Connor's thigh. Connor visibly relaxed under the touch, and he gave Evan a genuine smile.

"C-Connor, I-I'll help y-you. I m-might n-not be that much h-help, b-but, um, I-I wanna h-help you! I- I'll help y-you t-talk to your f-family. M-maybe Z-Zoe will h-help!" Evan was hopeful, but Connor was hesitant, and he cringed at the mention of his sister.

"Thanks Ev, but... I highly doubt Zoe will help. She hates me, not that I can blame her. I've been pretty shitty to her." He chuckled sadly, regretting very much what he had done to his sister. Evan frowned slightly, but his expression tightened. He shook his head.

"N-no, Con. S-she misses y-you. S-she told me she w-wants you to g-get help. P-please just... give her a c-chance?" Evan gave Connor puppy dog eyes he couldn't resist.

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you when she tells us, er, _ME_ off." Connor seemed sad, but he contained it.

They drove in anticipated, nervous silence for the remainder of the drive. They had a plan to get Connor help and confront the Murphy's.

But they had no idea if it would even work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a shit-storm in the next chapter. Hope you guys are ready. I'm gonna be coming for your feels.


	13. Confronting The Murphys

"Y-you ready, C-Connor?" Connor gulped, his hands gripping the car door's handle. He was, quite frankly, scared shitless. It took a moment for him to even register Evan's words. He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, then nodding. Evan smiled, unsure, but nonetheless proud of Connor. They walked, hand in hand, to the door; Connor gained strength from the touch of his Tree Boy.

He gulped down air, yet again, when the reached the doorway, Evan rubbing circles along the back of his hand. Evan shot Connor a reassuring smile, but Connor's stare remained intent on the door. He slowly reached up a shaking hand, using his spare key to unlock the door, before slowly opening the door.

They were immediately confronted by an angry Larry, a relieved Cynthia, and an indifferent Zoe. Connor sighed, looking at Evan, who nodded encouragingly. Connor stepped forward slightly, looking his family in the eyes. 

"Larry- er- _DAD_ , and Mom, we need to talk. It's about, uh, me?" He turned to Evan, desperate for assistance. Evan gave Connor a small smile, his need to help the taller male much greater than the deep-seeded anxiety rooted in the pit of his stomach.

"Um, y-yeah, you should listen to C-Connor." Larry glared at Evan, before turning his gaze to Connor again.

"Connor Murphy, _EVERYTHING_ is about you. We don't have to worry about most anything; except you. And you still haven't explained to us who _this_ kid is." Larry pointed at Evan, but continued to stare at his son. Connor gritted his teeth, opening his mouth to scream at his father, but Evan intervened. He stood between the duo, while Cynthia went to Larry, telling him to calm down.

"Larry, we need to hear what Connor has to say. He's finally opening up! Isn't this what you wanted?" Her eyes begged Larry, who softened slightly, grumbling a bit before mumbling a somewhat reluctant 'fine'. Evan beamed, and turned to Connor, who still seemed slightly distrusting.

Cynthia and Larry began walking to the living room, Zoe following suite, rolling her eyes. Connor was dumbfounded; they were ACTUALLY going to let him talk... _hopefully._ Evan grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly before they both followed. They sat across from the remaining Murphy's, all watching expectantly.

"So... Mom, Dad, and... Zoe. Uh, well, first off, this is Evan. Evan Hansen, my b- my friend." Connor was a light shade of pink, while Evan was bright red and picking at his cast, avoiding all eyes. Larry arched an eyebrow, and Zoe snickered. Cynthia smirked at Larry, holding her hand out.

"I win. Both are gay, you owe me a twenty." Connor was now fully shocked, staring slack-jawed at his parents. Evan and Zoe were both equally as shocked. Larry rolled his eyes.

"Come on Cynthia, we don't know he's GAY, exactly." Zoe began laughing loudly now, and everyone else in the room stared at her. Once she calmed down, she looked at her parents, a shit-eating grin on her face. 

"Sorry Dad, you owe Mom a twenty." She smirked. Connor's blush now reached his ears, but he slowly nodded his head. Well, that was _ONE_ way to come out. After Cynthia had her twenty and everyone had calmed down, Connor cleared his throat to regain attention.

"Well, anyways... I- I wanna go to rehab. I wanna get help."


	14. Evan and Larry

A total silence filled the room, and Connor's heart rate increased, he breathed heavily. Why was no one saying anything?! _WHY WOULDN'T THEY SAY ANYTHING?!_ He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, and he bit his lip hard enough to draw a small amount of blood as his breathing increased. He was brought back to reality by four things:

1) Evan had extended his hand, placing it on Connor's thigh, watching Connor in concern. Once Connor saw him, his heart melted at the soft, kind smile Evan gave him and he smiled back weakly. He placed his left hand over Evan's, grabbing it and squeezing it gently.

2) Cynthia had started to cry, smiling wide, proud of her son. Connor was startled when she reached out to hug him, and he hesitated before giving her a tight, quick hug. At least he had some support...

3) Zoe's shocked, almost relieved expression; it was almost as if she didn't want to let herself believe that things may get better. Could she get her brother back? She didn't know.

4) A loud slam coming from the opposite end of the dinner table...

Larry had quickly jumped up, retreating to the garage. He radiated anger. He turned, reaching the door. He swung it open before shouting at Connor:

"WE. HAVE. DISCUSSED. THIS. BEFORE. IT IS IN YOUR _HEAD_ CONNOR. YOU'RE LETTING IT _BEAT_ YOU, JUST LIKE YOU _ALWAYS_ DO! I'M NOT SPENDING MONEY ON SOMETHING THAT _I_ CAN'T FIX."

Larry then stormed out, slamming the door so hard the whole house practically shook. Everyone was still, watching the door with shocked expressions. Connor was shaking, and he whimpered. Evan whipped around, realizing that Connor was about to breakdown. He quickly threw his arms around Connor, but he was pushed away.

Connor ran up the stairs, refusing to let anyone see him cry. Evan was about to go after him, but Zoe stopped him.

"Connor... I-it's best to leave him alone for now." She watched the stairs sadly, longingly, taking a shaky breath. Evan was going to protest, but he was cut off by Cynthia, who murmured a tired agreement with Zoe's words. 

Evan felt totally, utterly helpless. He racked his brain for something, ANYTHING, he could do. Suddenly, it clicked; he had to talk to Larry. Maybe, just maybe, Larry would listen to him? He had to at least try.

He rushed to the garage door, hearing the protests from both Cynthia and her daughter, but he did not care. He needed to make things right. He couldn't sit on the sides while everything fell apart. He placed his hand on the doorknob, and took a shaky breath before plunging into the unknown.

**^^^^^^^**

Larry quickly whipped around when he heard the creak of the garage door opening, and he made to yell at whoever had come. He stopped when he saw Evan standing there. He grunted, turning away, looking at something in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Larry's soft voice surprised Evan. He sounded so... tired. Defeated. Evan gulped, opening his mouth to speak, but no words came up. He closed his eyes, trying to summon up Confident Evan. He could use the assistance of some self-esteem right about now.

"I-I, um, C-Connor... he..." Evan whimpered, unable to thing of something to say. Evan looked up in surprise when he heard a light chuckle. It was soft, almost somber, but there was no humor to it. Larry turned around, holding a picture of a young boy who was grinning, his top teeth missing. He held a baseball in one hand, and the other was wrapped around what looked to be a younger Larry.

"Connor was, what, seven when this was taken? It's been _so_ long... anyways, he used to think I was the best thing ever then. He was a _great_ kid, Evan. What did I do? What DIDN'T I do? It's just..." He looked up at Evan, eyes tired and brimming with tears. He smiled slightly at the memory, "Where did my son go?"

Evan had no words. He was left utterly confused, unable to come up with anything. Here was a man he assumed was always Connor's enemy, crying and grieving over the old Connor: the Connor that was there before everything. The innocent little boy. He swallowed hard, mouth dry as he approached Larry.

"I... I don't k-know s-sir? B-but... but I _k-know_ that C-Connor needs you. I... I know i-it's scary. It's h-hard, b-but C-Connor needs you t-to be _s-supportive._ He needs a d-dad who _cares._ I... my d-dad left when I was r-really young, and he w-was never th-there for me. I-it's one of the r-reasons I'm l-like _this_ n-now. Y-you need t-to show h-him you _c-care._ " Evan was avoiding Larry's eyes, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. It was Larry's turn to be shocked now. He looked at the picture of his son again; _his_ son...

Larry walked over to Evan, placing a hand on the teenage boy's shoulder. Evan flinched a bit, but looked up at Larry nonetheless. Larry gave Evan a small smile, patting his shoulder, "You... you're right. I'm just- I feel like I failed him. I feel like, if I can't help him, I don't... I don't know _what_ to do..."

"W-well, y-you can _s-start_ by a-apologizing to h-him. A-and, um, letting him go to rehab? _Y-you_ may n-not be able t-to fix _a-all_ of h-his p-problems, _b-but_ you can s-send him to people w-who _CAN_ h-help." Evan looked up at Larry, pleading to him with his blue eyes. Larry, sighed, and walked away from Evan, "W-what..."

"You're right. I need to make things right for him." Larry looked at Evan with renewed determination, and Evan smiled, rushing to Larry, giving him a hug. He quickly realized what he had just done, and quickly pulled away from Larry, thoroughly embarrassed. He was bright red yet again as he coughed into his hand. 

"S-sorry, um, I meant, uh, th-thank you? F-for helping C-Connor. He- he means _a lot_ to me." Larry chuckled, and quickly gave Evan a hug.

"I should be thanking _you_ , Evan. Thank you for saving my son. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." Larry smiled a genuine smile, and Evan smiled back, relishing in the moment. Once it was over, they both walked to the door, ready to face the family.

**^^^^^^**

Cynthia and Zoe were both equally surprised when Larry and Evan came out together, both seeming incredibly determined. Larry explained that he wanted to help Connor, and Cynthia cried, so proud of her husband, giving him a tight hug. He returned the hug, and Zoe mouthed a 'thank you' to Evan before joining the hug, also crying tears of joy.

Evan was overjoyed, but he felt invasive watching the intimate family moment; he was out of place. So, he decided to go tell Connor the good news. Evan bounded up the stairs, his smile seeming permanently attached. He approached Connor's door, which had a large 'KEEP OUT' sign on the door. He called out, before opening the door slowly, "C-Con? I have some-"

He let out a shocked gasp, cut off by a terrible sinking feeling in his throat.

Connor was gone.


	15. Search For The Missing Murphy

Evan let out a wail, crumpling. He started to breath heavily, unable to control it. He cried, looking about the room. Connor not being there wasn't the only thing out of place: Evan also noticed that the window was open, and so was a box on Connor's bed. Evan shut his eyes tight, trying to stop the tears running down his face. It was no use; he continued to cry even as he heard rapid footsteps approaching. 

Larry, Cynthia, and Zoe had appeared behind him. Cynthia gasped, tears brimming her eyes when she realized her son was missing. The last time this had happened, she'd had to confront the reality that her son could have died.

Larry was angry, but for once it wasn't directed at Connor. Larry was mad at himself. If he had just been a better father... he could have prevented all of this... he walked into Connor's room, searching for anything that could help them find the boy.

Zoe's heart had leaped into her throat the second she saw Evan, crumpled on the floor, gasping for breath, crying harder than she'd ever seen anyone cry. She leaned down to Evan, pulling him into a hug, crying as well. 

After only two minutes, Larry had practically torn apart Connor's room and all he could find was the open window, and the open box. He noticed the heavy smell of weed in the room, but he couldn't care less at the moment. Evan had finally calmed down enough to talk, though he was still panicked and unsteady. He pushed away from Zoe, trying to stand up. Once he did, using Connor's doorway for support, all eyes were on him: this added to his panic, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. They needed to find Connor.

_And fast._

**^^^^^^**

_Connor was alone again, tears pouring down his reddened cheeks. He was screaming, slamming his already bloodied fists into the trunk of a large tree. He was hyperventilating , trying to regain control of his thoughts. He fell to the ground, exhausted. He just gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut and trying desperately to block his thoughts. He needed to smoke. He just... he needed to. He was glad he had remembered to grab some. He lit up a blunt, taking a few inhales, hoping to numb himself._

**^^^^^^**

The Murphy's, plus Evan, gathered some supplies before running to the driveway. The plan had originally been for Zoe and Evan to take her and Connor's car, while Cynthia and Larry would take their car. But, when they got outside, it became apparent that Connor had taken the sibling's car. 

"Let's just take the van!" Cynthia called, now in full maternal-protection mode. They had already wasted so much time. They needed to hurry if they hoped to find Connor alive.

Evan threw himself into the passenger seat of the Murphy's minivan, trying hard to concoct a plan to find Connor through his anxiety-jumbled thoughts. He racked his brain for somewhere, _ANYWHERE,_ Connor might have ended up. The park? _Maybe._ A La Mode? _No, it was too late for that._ Lulu's? _Connor wouldn't want to be near people, so that was out..._ suddenly, it hit Evan.

"T-the O-Orchard..." Evan mumbled, as Larry sped down the street, window open, scanning for any sign of his son. Cynthia ,too, had the window down, and was calling for Connor, while Zoe frantically texted Alana for support and comfort; just because she and Connor had a broken bond didn't mean she wanted him gone. Once she heard Evan's garbled mumble, she leaned forward, straining her neck to look at him.

"Do you know where he might be?" Zoe's voice was remarkably calm, as she stared intently at the upset boy. Cynthia and Larry also turned to Evan, but Evan chose to ignore them, instead focusing on Zoe. He hesitantly nodded.

"Th-the old O-Orchard. W-we... we w-were th-there last n-night. He- I t-think he m-might b-be there." Evan said, tear still rolling down his cheeks. Zoe gave him a weird look. Orchard? What did that... she suddenly realized what the panicked boy was talking about.

"The old _apple_ orchard?" She questioned, eyebrows raised. Evan vigorously nodded, praying that Zoe would trust him. She gave him a slow nod, turning to her father. 

"D-Dad, we need to go to the Orchard, remember where that is?" Larry looked at his daughter for a moment in the rear-view mirror. He opened his mouth to protest, to say 'that place has been closed for years', but he was cut off by Zoe.

"DAMMIT DAD! _SERIOUSLY?!_ OUT OF _EVERYONE_ HERE, EVEN THOUGH HE'S THE ONE WHO HAS KNOWN CONNOR THE _LEAST_ AMOUNT OF TIME, _EVAN_ IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS CONNOR BEST!" Zoe had some tears coming from her eyes, her frustration and anger towards her family boiling over. "We need to give it a try. If Evan thinks Connor is at the Orchard, that's where we need to check."

Larry didn't answer, he just bit his lip and slowly nodded, setting a course for the Apple Orchard.

And, hopefully, Connor.

**^^^^^^**

After nearly thirty minutes of driving in total silence, save for Evan and Cynthia's sniffling and crying, they reached the Orchard. They sighed collectively in relief when Connor's car came into view, sitting alone in the dark gravel 'parking lot'.

Even before the van was fully stopped, Evan had swung the door of the car open, searching for a possible entrance into the Orchard that didn't involve scaling a fence, in the dark, with a broken arm. He managed to discover a small area where the fence was broken. But he suddenly hesitated, looking to the rest of the _'Connor Murphy Search Party'._

"I-I t-think I s-should go a-alone. I h-have a b-better chance of g-getting C-Con to cooperate i-if I g-go alone." Larry made to protest with Evan's statement, but Cynthia placed her hand on his arm.

"Evan is right, Larry. Connor... he won't listen to us, but-" she smiled at Evan. "Maybe he'll listen to Evan." Evan smiled weakly, grateful. 

"Z-Zoe, I m-might need you t-too. J-just stay o-out of s-sight, b-but, i-if something g-goes wrong, c-can-" Zoe cut him off by nodding, ducking under the broken section of fence. He smiled again, mumbling a thank you, joining her on the other side of the fence. 

They took off, Evan running faster than he ever had before. Zoe followed suit, making sure to stay a good distance from Evan, as to remain unseen by Connor. They ran like this for almost five minutes, until Evan heard crying and screaming.

It was Connor, bloodied and slamming himself against the tallest tree in the yellow field.


	16. Safe and Sound

Evan immediately ran forward, not hesitating for even a second. He grabbed Connor from behind, hugging him, keeping him restrained. Connor yelled, tears still streaming down his face.

"LET GO! _LET. GO._ " Connor was pushing, kicking, trying to get away from Evan. Evan had tears blurring his eyes, frankly quite afraid, but he refused to let go. He buried his head in Connor's shoulder-blades, trying hard to stop crying, to be strong...

But seeing someone he liked so much hurting so bad... it pained him.

Eventually, Connor gave in, heaving sobs, turning around in Evan's arms so that he could bury his face in the boy's striped blue polo shirt. He felt so broken, so _pathetic._ But he somehow didn't mind the vulnerability. It was nice to just cry in someone's arms. He felt as though Evan were an angel. An angel he _really_ didn't deserve...

Connor shoved Evan away. He refused to look at Evan, sinking to the yellowed grass, which was wet with dew. He pulled up his hoodie, leaning against a tall apple tree. Evan didn't know what to do. He wanted so badly to comfort Connor, but what if he failed? He didn't know if he'd be able to stand failing some he lo- liked a lot.

Evan decided to do the on thing he knew Connor liked. He sat down next to Connor, grabbing the pale boy's hand in his own. Their fingers interlocked perfectly, almost as if they had been meant to hold the other. It felt so right to both boys, though neither would ever admit it. And in this small moment of comfort, Evan began to slowly sing.

_'I remember tears streaming down your face._

_When I said "I'll never let you go."_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light._

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone."_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed._

_Tonight.'_

Connor's head shot up, listening to the sweet, melodic, haunting melody. It seemed to capture him, wrapping him in warmth. He began to cry, but it was controlled, and he leaned his head on Evan's shoulder. This gave Evan more confidence, and he sang louder.

_'Just close your eyes._

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright._

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light._

_You and I'll be safe and sound...'_

Connor's head drooped, his body overcome with exhaustion. He knew he couldn't sleep, but he allowed himself to rest. He allowed his mind to be clear of pain, and he just listened to the gentle song, allowing himself to be completely vulnerable.

_'Don't you dare look out your window._

_Darling everything's on fire;_

_The War outside our door keeps raging on._

_Hold on to this lullaby_

_Even when the music's gone._

_Gone._

_Just close your eyes._

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright._

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light._

_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

_Just close your eyes..._

_You'll be alright..._

_Come morning light..._

_You and I'll be safe and sound...'_

Evan had his eyes closed, calmly humming out the remainder of the melody. He now had both arms around Connor, burying his face in the other's black hoodie. Connor had his arms around Evan as well, afraid that if he let go, Evan would disappear.

They stayed like that, buried in each other's embrace, watching the sunset. Evan had completely forgotten about the other person present with them.


	17. The Misadventures of High Connor

Connor and Evan stayed like that, in each other's arms, neither wanting to get up. That was, until they heard the _click_ of a phone camera.

Evan sat bolt upright, Connor just giggling and staring at the boy. Evan wanted to sink into the floor. To his dismay, yet slight pleasure, Connor began to pepper his faces with gentle kisses, while Zoe snickered lightly.

It was when Connor kissed Evan, straight on the lips, that things went to shit.

Evan nearly gagged, Connor's lips tasting like smoke. He pulled away quickly, sputtering a bit while Connor pouted.

"You're no fun." Connor laughed, but suddenly stopped, staring blankly ahead. Evan made to move closer, placing his hand on Connor's cheek, praying that it wasn't sweaty. He nearly fainted when Connor suddenly burst into laughter.

"C-Connor, why d-did you taste l-like s-smoke? And... paper?" Evan questioned, still trying to calm down from Connor's abrupt laughter. Connor have him a blank stare.

"I'm literally so fucking high right now, you don't even KNOW, Tree Dork." Connor laughed at his own joke, while Evan looked horrified.

"C-Connor!! T-that's not g-good! We- we have t-to go h-home. Please, y-you can stay a-at my p-place t-tonight. P-please?" Evan pleaded, giving Connor a slight pouty-face.

Connor just watched Evan's face blankly, not making any movement or reaction. After a few seconds that seemed like hours to the small boy, Connor slowly nodded his head, getting up, nearly falling over in the process.

Zoe emerged, slowly, as not to anger her brother. Surprisingly, Connor gave her a small smile. She shrugged, laughing a bit. Maybe things could be okay.  
  
 **^^^^^^**

Zoe drove the Murphy sibling's car down the winding country road, waves of nostalgia rushing through her as she smiled to herself. Connor and Evan were in the back, Connor sleeping, his head in Evan's lap and legs up on the seat whilst Evan played absentmindedly with strands of his hair.

Luckily, by time they had gotten to the cars, Connor was too busy clinging to Evan to pay attention to his parents. Evan cringed to think what might've happened for he _HAD._

Zoe explained the situation to her parents, who agreed that it would be best for Connor to stay with Evan for the night. Evan had gotten Connor to stop clinging just long enough to give his mother a text.

Of course, Heidi said yes, incredibly happy that her son had a friend.

And so, it was off to the Hansen household with a high, bruised, and bleeding Connor Murphy...

_Oh no..._


	18. Meeting Heidi Hansen

Evan was growing increasingly nervous as himself and the Murphy Siblings neared his house. Hell, he hadn't even MENTIONED Connor to Heidi, let alone his DRUG problem. Yet here he was, with Connor, who was so high he could touch the Sun. Sad thing is, Connor would probably do that if possible...

Evan fidgeted with Connor's hair; the boy was fast asleep, so he was unable to notice Evan's growing anxiety. Even if he HAD been conscious, Evan doubted he'd be sober enough to really pay attention. However, as Evan brushed Connor's hair off his pale face, his heart melted and he forgot why he was even worrying. He blushed red as a redwood tree, smiling at how peaceful Connor looked; the small, freckled boy couldn't help but place a soft kiss on the taller one's forehead.

"Hey, Evan, we're here?" Zoe turned in her seat, speaking suddenly, breaking Evan out of his little trance.

He suddenly remembered why he had been nervous.

Shit.

^^^^^^ 

Evan was damn near hyperventilating as he helped a stumbling, tired, and high Connor Murphy out of the grey-blue Subaru Impreza. Connor was completely oblivious to what was going on, too invested in his own drug-hazed thoughts. Evan's heart rate only grew with every step to the front door.

Once they had reached the entrance to the 'cute little house', as Zoe refereed to it, Evan had to swallow, raising a shaky hand to knock on the door. It was almost immediately opened by Heidi Hansen, who looked incredibly relieved to see her son, and enveloped him in a hug. Evan had failed to realize it was now nearly 1:30.

"Evan, sweetie! Where have you been?! I was so worried, did something - who's this, honey?" She had noticed Zoe and Connor. Zoe automatically stepped forward, offering Heidi a hand, while Connor leaned lazily against the wall.

"Hi, I'm Zoe Murphy, Evan's... er... friend?" Heidi's eyes lit up, and she beamed, shaking the girl's hand.

"That's great! Evan, honey, why didn't tell me you'd made such a sweet, pretty friend?" Evan was going to respond, but he was interrupted by a loud, wheezing laugh. Everyone turned to Connor startled.

"N-nice!? HA! You should see her after I finish off the milk, or listen to music 'too loud'." Connor finished, using sloppy air quotes. Heidi arched an eyebrow, while Zoe rolled her eyes, chewing on the inside of her lip and tapping her foot to keep from snapping at her brother. Evan could feel his face practically BURNING. Heidi smiled nonetheless, directing her full attention to Connor.

"Hi sweetheart, what's your name?" Evan made to introduce Connor, but he was beat to the punch. Connor reached out and shook Heidi's hand.

"I'm Murphy Connor! W-wait..." Connor's brow furrowed, unsure if he said that right. Zoe shook her head, rolling her eyes and snorting whilst Evan buried his face in his hands.

"H-he m-means Con-Connor Murphy, M-mom. Zoe's b-brother. He's... he's m-my... best friend." Evan stuttered out, still highly anxious. Connor crossed his arms, pouting slightly. Heidi was practically glowing with pride; her son had not one, but TWO friends! The calm mood was instantly brutally murdered by none other than Connor Laurence Murphy, who turned to Ms. Hansen with a lopsided smile.

"Your son is hot." He said bluntly, staring just past Heidi Hansen. Evan's face returned to his hands as Zoe snorted, trying desperately to keep from laughing aloud. Heidi was momentarily dumbfounded, but she awkwardly laughed, unsure of how to respond to the comment.

"WELL! L-LET'S,UH, G-GET INSIDE!! MOM, CAN C-CONNOR STAY TH-THE NIGHT? THANKS!" Evan spoke so quickly that his mother barely had time to comprehend her son's words. She went to respond, but Evan had already pushed Connor halfway up the stairs.

She blinked once, turning to Zoe, who shrugged, exchanging "thank-you's" and "goodbye's" with Heidi before driving off. Heidi stood in the doorway for a moment, confused, before she finally went into the house.

^^^^^^

Evan ran up the stairs, dragging a dazed Connor behind him. Once he reached the top, he took a sharp left, swinging open his bedroom door, throwing Connor in and sitting him on the bed, requesting he stay there. Connor nodded sleepily, sinking into the mattress.

Once Evan heard the door close, he gulped, leaving the room to confront his mother. Heidi Hansen stood at the bottom of said stairs, looking like she had just been about to walk up to Evan's room. Evan fiddled with the hem of his shirt, still blushing, trying to avoid Heidi's eyes as he made his way down the stairs. Once he got to the bottom of the stairs, Heidi wrapped him in a hug.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart!" She exclaimed, pulling away from the hug and cupping his face in her hands.

Evan didn't really know why, but he suddenly started to cry. Heidi's eyes widened, and she pulled her son to the living room, and onto the couch.

"I-I... I'm s-sorry." Evan's breathing was ragged, and he was desperately wiping his tears. Heidi shushed him, holding him close, letting him ride out the little breakdown. Once he had, she pulled away, giving him a small smile.

"It's fine honey, what's wrong? It's okay sweetheart, you'll be okay." Evan's mom squeezed his hand and he nodded, taking a deep, snot-filled breath.

"I'm worried about C-Connor." He exhaled shakily, still trying to fully calm down. "He's h-hurting, mom. And I... I don't know what I should do."

Heidi rubbed her son's back, feeling sadness at his predicament. "I don't know honey. I think right now, all he needs is a friend." Heidi wouldn't know it, but the word 'friend' was like a slap across the face. His panic again increased. But his mom deserved the truth, even if it could ruin their relationship.  
He took yet another shaky breath.

"M-mom, he's not... not just m-my friend. C-Connor... I lo- like h-him. A lot. I-In a r-romantic way? Please don't hate me."

Heidi's eyes widened as Evan whimpered, scared she would reject him. She quickly pulled him into another hug, shaking her head. She smoothed his hair, whispering encouragement into his ear.

Eventually, Evan was stable enough to talk, and Heidi gave him a warm smile. "Sweetheart, that's perfectly fine. I just want you to be happy. And if Connor makes you happy," she laughed, lightly punching his shoulder, "then go get'm. I know you'll be good for him, and him for you."

Evan smiled, tears again filling his eyes. This time, they were tears of joy. He gave Heidi a tight, quick hug before excusing himself to bed.

^^^^^^

Evan quietly opened the door, hoping not to disturb Connor. He looked into the room, exhausted beyond belief. But as soon as he saw Connor, he realized how worth it everything was.

Connor had somehow managed to remove his hoodie and t-shirt, and he was on the far left side of Evan's small bed, spooning a pillow.

Evan tried not to focus too much, but it was hard not to notice that, despite of everything, Connor Murphy was very nicely built. Evan quickly changed, and softly climbed into the bed, turning to pull a blanket on himself and the gorgeous boy with him.

Once in bed, Evan slowly pulled the pillow form Connor's grasp. Connor squirmed a bit in his sleep, his nose scrunching in annoyance before he again relaxed. Evan inched his way closer, and Connor turned slowly, involuntarily wrapping his arms and legs around Evan, holding the smaller boy close.

Evan cherished the other boy's body heat, comforted by the steady rise and fall of his chest. Evan closed his eyes, sighing contently before placing his head on Connor's chest, falling asleep to the steady beating of Connor's heart.

And for the two boys, that would be enough.


	19. Finally

Connor eyes fluttered open, his head hurting and his arms sore. He coughed a bit, his throat dry as he groaned, trying to find the will to get up.

And, for that matter, to live.

After some time, his eyes finally adjusted to the sun streaming in through a small window facing him.

A window that was not this.

Suddenly, his memories of the previous night came back, and he panicked, hoping he hadn't done anything to hurt Evan.

Connor tried to stand up, but found an arm wrapped around his torso. He quickly looked to his right, and his mind came to a stand-still. He blushed a deep pink; Evan looked adorable. The smaller boy had his good arm wrapped around Connor, and his broken one resting at his side. He wore baby blue pajama pants, and Connor noticed some freckles scattered on his bare chest and shoulders. Evan had his legs entangled with Connor's, and he snored very lightly, his cheeks holding a tint of pink.

Connor couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the adorable boy. He felt much better, just being so close to him. The embrace felt warm and loving, which was something Connor wasn't used to.

He couldn't help but place a gentle kiss on Evan's nose. His heart nearly melted when Evan's nose and face scrunched up adorably. He hummed a bit, readjusting his hold on Connor, snuggling into the taller male's chest.

They stayed like that for a bit, Connor admiring Evan's beauty as he slept peacefully. Sure, Connor looked incredibly dangerous and dark, but deep down he was a huge softy. This was a side that had been, for a long time, hidden away...

But something about Evan made Connor want to try. Because Evan was the one person who gave him a chance; the one person who believed in him.

And he was beyond grateful.

^^^^^^

Evan's eyes opened slowly, and he groaned a bit, trying to avoid the sunlight.

"Morning, Ev." Connor chuckled, watching as Evan sleepily turned over to check the time.

12:04

"SHIT." Evan sprung up, blushing red, flustered and embarrassed. Connor quickly turned, grabbing Evan.

"No... don't go, Evvy." He whined, purposely trying to sound childish. Connor wrapped his arms around Evan's waist, pressing his face into the small of the other boy's back. This action caused Evan to go even more red in the face as he squeaked in surprise.

"B-but, C-Con, we have s-school..." Evan turned his head to his calendar, and proceeded to bury his head in his hands.

It was Sunday.

Connor laughed as Evan pouted, climbing back into the bed and snuggling into Connor's side, hoping to fluster the taller male. He was successful, as Connor blushed and went stiff. Evan smiled triumphantly.

"I-I win." Evan said, sitting up on top of Connor. Connor laughed, shaking his head slightly.

"Mhm. Okay, Tree Boy. You win." Connor rolled his eyes, trying to draw attention away from his flustered blush. Evan giggled a bit.

"Tr-Tree Boy? O-okay... H-Hot Topic? Isn't t-that w-what Jared c-calls you?" Connor grimaced a bit at the mention of Jared Kleinman.

"Why'd you have to bring Kleinman into this?" Connor snapped slightly, Evan flinching a bit. Connor exhaled deeply, regretting the outburst.

"Look, I'm sorry, Ev. That wasn't good. I just... I don't know. Kleinman's kinda been an ass to me. But I didn't need to bring you into it. I'm sorry, Tree Boy." Connor awkwardly patted Evan's head, messing up the smaller boy's dirty-blonde hair.

Evan laughed, holding Connor tightly in a hug. "I k-know. Jared's n-not exactly the b-best, but he... he's a-all I have." Evan turned his gaze away from Connor; he didn't want to seem weak.

Connor frowned, sitting up in the bed. He lightly grabbed Evan's chin, gently turning the boy's freckled face towards his own. Connor gave him a gentle smile, hoping to ease the boy's growing anxiety. It worked, as Evan relaxed his shoulders at the soft touch. He snuggled close to Connor, breathing in the taller boy.

The two stayed like that, quiet, for nearly twenty minutes. Twenty minutes until Evan finally found the courage to confront Connor.

"C-Con, I need you to listen to me, please." Evan inhaled deeply, closing his eyes tight. Connor sat up, giving Evan a look of concern.

"Okay? What's up?"

"I-It's about y-yesterday..."

"Oh." Connor replied, monotone and distant.

"Look, I-I know i-it wasn't an ideal situation but... I... I t-talked to your dad?" Evan said, more of a question than a statement.

"What about that asshole?" Evan winced at Connor's voice. It was low and angry, but kind of hurt too. Evan took another deep breath, grabbing Connor's hand with both of his, summoning up the courage to give Connor the good news. He could only hope that Connor would remain calm.

"W-Well, I talked to him, a-and... he agreed for taking you to rehab. I-it'll be a long program, a-and it'll be hard, b-but-"

Evan was cut of by a sudden, hard hug from Connor Murphy. They taller boy was sobbing, but this was different to the tears he was used to. These were tears of utter happiness; something he had never experienced.

He was finally going to get help.


	20. Road to Remission

It took a good twenty minutes for Connor to calm down, and even then he still couldn't quite believe it. He was finally going to a place where he could get better.

And he had support. Zoe, Cynthia, and shockingly _Larry._ But he couldn't forget his biggest cheerleader.

Connor had only known Evan Hansen well for a few months. Who knew the school's anxiety-ridden, adorable, freckled tree lover would be the one to turn his sad excuse of a life around?

And now, looking into Evan's eyes, he couldn't imagine being without him. What would have happened to him? He shuddered to think of it.

Everything just seemed _so good,_ even though, just three months prior, Connor had tried to take his own life. If you had asked him how he was then, he would roll his eyes and ask how you'd _think_ it was. But now... it was nice, which was something Connor had previously thought he couldn't have. Ever.

He could now truly say that he didn't want to die.

Yes, there were still moments when the bad thoughts bubbled to the surface, and it still hurt. But that was okay, because now, Connor had something... someone... who cared for him.

Connor wiped away one last tear that rolled down his wet, reddened cheeks. He sniffled lightly, giving Evan a genuine, lopsided smile that caused the smaller boy's face to heat in a deep blush.

"Okay, so, we should probably go to my house. I still don't think they'll be overjoyed to see me, but I guess my sorry ass owes them a visit." Connor laughed, standing up from the bed and stretching.

"Y-Yeah! Let's do that!" Evan's voice cracked slightly with joy; he was glad that Connor had taken the news well.

Come to think of it, Connor seemed relieved; he seemed like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Evan watched Connor move about the room, absentmindedly smiling at him in admiration.

"Um, Evan?" Connor cleared his throat, lightly blushing. Evan shook his head, laughing nervously and blushing a deep red. It got worse when Connor went to remove his shirt.

Evan's breath hitched, and Connor laughed a bit, blushing as well. He coughed lightly as Evan turned quickly, hiding his face between his hands.

Suddenly, he felt strong, yet surprisingly gentle, cold hand grab his own. He looked up, only to be met with Connor's eyes. Evan hadn't truly noticed until then how pretty they were. Both of his eyes were a sky blue, except for the left, which had a streak of chocolate brown.

Evan was pulled out of his trance by Connor tilting his chin up. Connor leaned in close, slowly moving towards Evan's neck. The smaller boy shivered as he was met with hot breath on his neck. He shivered, closing his eyes, anticipating something.

"Hansen~"

"U-uh... y-yes?"

"...Where's your bathroom?"

Evan flushed red, eyes shooting open as he shoved a cackling Connor Murphy away. "Hey!! You did t-that on p-purpose, you jerk!"

"I mean, you're not wrong, but you still didn't answer my question, babe." Connor pulled Evan up, holding him close, leaning into his ear, whispering. "Can you direct me to your bathroom so I will not smell and look like a diseased bird?"

Evan tried to hold a serious face, but it didn't work. He erupted into a fit of laughter as Connor gathered his clothes. "O-Okay, it's down the hall, second door on the left."

Connor smirked, turning to leave, before pausing in the doorway. "Thanks, doll." He said, before continuing to walk out.

Evan couldn't help but smile giddily as he went to take care of his own personal hygiene.

**^^^^^^**

Both boys were currently walking towards Connor's house, finally properly washed and fed. Connor was bandaged as well, curtesy of Evan. They were sharing earbuds, listening to P!ATD on shuffle.

They walked in blissful silence, Evan observing the trees and neighborhood while Connor observed Evan.

The pair continued for almost a mile until they finally reached the Murphy Residence. Connor swallowed hard, still nervous. Evan was too, but he knew it would all turn out in the end. He placed a hand on Connor's cheek, giving him a sweet smile and a reassuring nod.

And with that, they made their way up the walkway, now hand in hand.


	21. Reconcilliation: Part One

Connor fumbled through his pocket, pulling out his house key. Evan released his hand, removing their earbuds and turning off the music. The taller boy took out the key, taking a deep breath before inserting it into the lock and opening the door, crossing the threshold.

Evan trailed behind Connor, watching his feet as they entered the house.

"I'm home." Connor half-heartedly yelled. Almost instantly, Cynthia came around the corner, smiling, she wrapped her son in a tight hug.

Connor, taken by surprise, went stiff, hands at his side. One he adjusted slightly, he hesitantly hugged his mother back gently.

After a moment, Cynthia pulled back, watching her son fondly. Connor flinched a bit under her prideful gaze. To get away, he turned towards Evan, who gave him a small nod, giving a small "go on" gesture. He turned back to his mom, swallowing hard.

"W-Where are Zoe and Lar- Dad." Connor breathed out, trying to be gentle. Cynthia smiled, shaking her head slightly, disbelieving.

"Your dad is at work, and Zoe has a rehearsal with her band. It's just you and me, kiddo." Cynthia laughed a bit, still beyond proud and happy. "How about you and I have a little chat, what d'ya say?"

Connor gave her a small, lopsided smile, some tears pooling in the corners of his visible eye. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."

"Well don't just stand there! C'mon, let's go to the living room. You're coming too, Evan." Evan, having been zoned out, quickly looked up.

"Oh, no no, I- I don't want to i-intrude?"

Cynthia shook her head gently, "Its no intrusion sweetheart, I insist."

Evan gulped, slowly nodding and walking to Connor's side, using the taller boy as a barricade. Cynthia was really sweet, but he still wasn't quite comfortable with all of the touching. The woman noticed this, but let it be, beckoning the two teenagers into the living area.

Evan was amazed by the size and decoration of the room. It was very modern, painted white, with a small glass table in the center and light blue couches.

Opposite of the couches was an electric fireplace; the mantle had individual pictures of every Murphy, along with one family photo.

There were several art pieces throughout the quaint room, along with two large picture windows. It was all quite astounding to Evan, who wasn't used to all of the open space.

Cynthia sat on the love seat, patting the empty space next to her so that the boys would come sit down. They did, Connor next to Cynthia and Evan next to Connor. Evan was fiddling with his cast, scanning the room while Connor faced his mother.

He had never really noticed how old it seemed she had gotten. Since when has she had so many gray hairs? Why did she have more wrinkles now?

She looked so... old.

Had he done this?

All the fights, disappearing acts, and screaming. The threats, and the hospital visits he caused...

Were they what had happened to his mother?

Maybe.

Connor suddenly felt guilt trickle into his conscious, and he looked away, scared to face the effects of his wrongdoings.

And yet, his mother was still his mother. She was still beautiful, with the same kind eyes and jewelry. The same warm hugs and encouraging words.

She hadn't once given up on him. She hadn't stopped fighting for him, and what had he given her in return?

Gray hairs, wrinkles, and endless stress.

Connor, quite frankly, felt ashamed, and the guilt that was once a small leak into his stomach became a hurricane. His shame and guilt rose to the surface in a hurricane of emotion, and it came out in the form of tears.

Cynthia and Evan both immediately noticed this, Evan grabbing Connor's hand and squeezing it while he whispered encouragements to the other. Cynthia cupped his face on her hands, looking at her son.

"Honey, it's okay." She whispered gently, pushing some of Connor's hair behind his ears.

This broke Connor, and he broke into heavy sobs, Cynthia wrapping her arms delicately around him, rubbing circles around his back and shushing him gently, savoring the moment.

She had her son back.


	22. Reconcilliation: Part Two

Connor's sobs eventually reduced to sniffles, and he finally looked up, Evan handing him a tissue. He wiped his eyes, smiling at the smaller boy.

"T-Thanks, Ev." He tucked some hair behind his ear before reaching over to give Evan's hand a quick squeeze. Evan gently pressed another tissue in his hand, motioning to Cynthia.

The woman was also crying, though hers' were tears of joy. Connor scooted closer to her on the couch, handing her the tissue the same way Evan had done for him.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I promise I'm not sad, I'm just super happy for you and I'm glad to have you here, okay?" She spoke gently, placing a hand on Connor's check as she used her free hand to dab her eyes lightly with the tissue. Connor hesitantly nodded, still feeling somewhat guilty; he smiled at her anyways.

"MOM! I'M BACK FROM PRACTICE." They heard the clang of the door shutting, followed by the shuffling of footsteps on linoleum. Connor's heart skipped a beat; it was time to talk to his sister.

Zoe was the one Connor had, arguably, done the most harm to. His baby sister. He loved her, he really did, but when he lost control... that's when it all started.

He would sometimes come home late at night, high, and slam his hands on her door. He would threaten to kill her while she cried for him to stop. Sometimes, he didn't even have to be high.

When they were little, they were the best of friends. God, he'd do anything to go back to that. Things were so... easy back then. He didn't have to worry about mental illness, suicide, drugs, fights, or anything else. All he worried about was little league baseball games and Sunday trips to the zoo and orchard.

Things were so... simple and good. Why did things always have to change? Was it so much to ask for to have even a day back to being an innocent, safe child? Apparently so. There was nothing Connor could do to change his past, as much as it sucked. But he'd be damned if he wasn't going to at least TRY to med things with his sister.

A quick kiss on his cheek brought him back to reality. At first, he thought it was his mother, but the blush on Evan's cheeks said otherwise. He felt his worries wash away for a moment.

That was, until Zoe appeared in the doorway of the living room. Panic had come yet again to sock him straight in the face it seemed.

"Connor... hey." Zoe looked at him, giving a smile smile. She seemed pained, but also relieved.

He shook his head a bit, standing up and walking towards her. His heart broke a bit when her first instinct was to flinch and back up. Connor stopped, turning towards Evan and Cynthia.

"I, uh, I think I need to handle this one alone." Cynthia nodded, giving her son an encouraging smile. Evan gave a nervous smile, glancing down at his hands.

With that, Connor turned towards his younger sister, nodding towards the stairs. He watched as she climbed the stairs, taking one last deep breath before following.

^^^^^^

Zoe's room was slightly cluttered. It was painted a navy blue with a purple shag rug on the white carpet, and galaxy bedding on the queen-sized bed. The bed itself had a mountain of stuffed animals resting on it. Zoe climbed onto the bed, grabbing a worn teddy bear, staring at it, rubbing its arm with her thumb as she smiled sadly at it.

"Do you remember this?" She held it up to Connor, who's head snapped up as her voice broke the silence. She gave him a desperate look, tears suddenly brimming her eyes. Connor did recognize it.

It was the bear that he'd gotten her for her 6th birthday.

Connor couldn't believe she still had it. He got up, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking it from her gently. He stared at it for awhile, tears welling in his eyes and slowly running down his cheeks.

He placed it back on Zoe's lap, not looking at her. He was openly crying now, overwhelmed.

"Zoe... I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. You didn't deserve ANY of this. I just... God, I wish I could take it all back but... but I can't."

"Yeah, it was... pretty terrible." Zoe looked up from her lap, tears streaming down her cheeks as well. She clung to the bear, pulling it to her chest. "I just don't get it. We were so close, Connor. And I'm angry at you. And I have every right to be mad. You hurt me. A lot."

A choked sob came from Connor as he pulled his legs to his chest. "You're r-right. You have every right to be... to be mad. I was awful, you didn't deserve it."

Zoe scooted closer, grabbing Connor's hand. He flinched at the touch, but looked at her, sniffling.

"I can't forgive you yet. I can't even trust you yet. But... you're still my brother, Con. And I'm so happy that you're getting help, and that you have Evan now and... I love you."

Connor smiled, throwing his arms around his sister, and they stayed like that for awhile.

Eventually, Connor pulled back, wiping his eyes. Zoe did the same, but she started to laugh. Connor eventually joined in, her laugh being contagious. It had been so long since he'd heard her laugh.

"What're we even laughing at Zo?" He held his stomach as their shared laughter died down, both of them still crying.

"Your hair. It looks like a birds nest. Have you ever heard of a shower, Connor? You look like a damn hobo." Connor snorted.

He had his little sister back.


	23. Reconcilliation: Part Three

The Murphy siblings stayed like that for awhile, savoring the first pleasant interaction they'd had in quite a long time. They joked, laughed, and cried.

"So, what next? I mean, like, obviously you'll be talking to Dad. Right?" Zoe _was_ right about that, but he felt a pang of anxiety at the upcoming talk.

"Yeah, I am. When he gets home, I guess." Connor played with the strings on his hoodie, unsure. Zoe patted his shoulder, trying to offer some kind of comfort to her brother. Connor laughed a bit, appreciating the attempt.

Zoe watched her brother, feeling bad for him. "Hey, why don't we go downstairs and make sure Mom isn't smothering your boyfriend with hugs." She lightly punched his shoulder. Connor smiled tiredly, nodding.

**^^^^^^**

Zoe, Connor, Cynthia and Evan all sat around the Murphy's living area. They all ate some Chinese takeout, trying to distract Connor's anxiety as they waited for Larry to return home.

The television was on, showing reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos. Zoe was texting Alana, while Cynthia seemed hyper-focused on her food. Evan was curled up next to Connor, leaning his head in the other boy's shoulder.

Everyone was incredibly happy, and content. They laughed, and talked, and enjoyed each other's company.

Then they heard a car pull into the driveway, and Connor's heart skipped a beat. Evan looked up at the taller boy, grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

Everyone was quiet, watching the doorway. About two minutes later, Larry walked in; he was met with the sight of his family, plus Evan, staring at him.

His son was there. _Connor had come back._ Instantly, a wave of relief washed over the older man.

_Silence._

No one knew where, or how, to start. Zoe coughed sarcastically, "accidentally" hitting Connor in the side.

" _SON OF A-_ " Connor began before quickly catching himself. He gave Cynthia a sheepish smile, and she smiled back gently, gesturing towards her husband, his _father,_ gently. Connor swallowed hard, shakily walking toward Larry.

"U-uh, Dad, can we maybe talk? Like, now? It's, um, it's important." Connor let go the breath he didn't realize he was holding in as Larry nodded. Connor awkwardly nodded back, returning to his spot on the couch. Larry took a seat in a nearby recliner. Evan not-so-subtly grabbed Connor's hand in quiet support.

"So, uh, I wanted to start off saying... thanks for agreeing to take me to rehab. I know I...I technically went before but it... it wasn't really enough. So yeah, thanks." Connor managed a small smile, staring at his lap.

Larry nodded solemnly, "Connor, I should've done it sooner. I honestly shouldn't have let it go so far." Connor nodded, squeezing Evan's hand a bit tighter. He started to feel angry, but he knew he needed to stay calm. Lashing out wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Why did you _let_ it go so far? I mean, you _saw_ what was happening? Did you just... not care? I know we didn't always get along but, I don't know... I guess I had just thought you'd be more willing to help." Larry stared at his hands, a grim expression resting upon his face. He got up slowly, approaching Connor and kneeling in front of him.

"Connor, look at me." Connor swallowed hard, looking up slowly. Tear welled in the corner of his eyes. He was surprised to find tears in his dad's eyes as well. 

"When I was your age, we didn't typically deal with things like drugs or mental illness. I grew up in a strict Christian household with your Aunt Terri. We didn't watch TV, we didn't have cellphones, and we grew up in a close-knit Catholic neighborhood. Your grandma was sweet, a typical southern belle. My father, however... he was different." Larry glanced away, remembering his late father.

"Dad was very traditional. He believed a wife's job was to stay inside, to clean and cook. Mom was their for _him._ We went to church every Sunday, and whenever your aunt or I did something wrong, Dad would get a wooden plank and give us a couple of lashes. And that's how I grew up. I was around a mindset that there was nothing a little tough "love" and a beating wouldn't fix. I was told that homosexuality was a disease. That mental illnesses were demonic and could simply be "prayed away". I was told that God would heal all." Larry chuckled sadly, tears now trickling slowly down his cheeks.

"So when you and Zoe came around, I had a similar mindset. Luckily, I had realized how screwed a lot of what he said was, though it's difficult to overcome almost sixteen years worth of conditioning. So when _YOU_ started having difficulties, I didn't know what to do. What I did was _wrong,_ Connor. What I went through wasn't an excuse for how I _CHOSE_ to behave, but you do deserve an explanation." He patted Connor's knee, giving his son a sad, gentle smile. Connor was for the third time that day, crying. He looked up at his father.

"I-I'm sorry." Connor mumbled, avoiding Larry's eyes. Larry's brows furrowed.

"For what, Connor?" 

Suddenly, the floodgates opened. Years upon years of pent of rage and sadness over his damaged relationship with his father came pouring out in a series of ugly, heavy sobs. "For EVERYTHING. For n-not being normal. For lashing out. For hurting you and Zoe and M-Mom, and-" Connor was cut off by a tight hug. Larry had stood up, leaning over to hug his son. After a moment's hesitation, Connor hugged back. He was trembling, sobbing violently. 

Slowly, Zoe and Cynthia got up, teary-eyed. They both wrapped their arms around the boys, joining in for a group hug. The first one since Connor was in 6th grade. 

Larry looked up from the hug, locking eyes with Evan, who had scooted away as to not be intrusive. "Evan, thank you. You've given me my family back."

The Murphy's all looked up, smiling at Evan. They all simultaneously got up, placing Evan in the center of the family group hug. 

And he couldn't be happier.


	24. Rehab Arc: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: The rehab process was drastically shortened, as I didn't want to drag the story on for too long. This definitely is NOT an accurate representation of rehab, and it has some idealized elements. Still, I hope it's sufficient in telling the story! Enjoy!

Connor shuffled his feet anxiously, sitting in a chair next to his dad. They were seated in front of Larry's desk, browsing on Connor's Mac-Book Air.

The two were looking at local rehab options. So far, their best option was the _Schuyler Rehabilitation Center for Troubled Adolescents._ The only bad thing they Connor could see with the place was the fact that it was almost three hours away.

He liked it, sure, but he didn't know if he could really bring himself to leave Evan for that long. Yes, there were weekend visiting hours, but...  
they _WERE_ high school students and Evan didn't like to drive too much. To add to the predicament, the program was almost a month and a half long.

A month and a half away from Evan and his family. He was conflicted. On one hand, the problems. But there was also _A LOT_ of positives about that particular rehab center. What would he _do?_

He needed to talk to Evan.

**^^^^^^**

Evan was laying in his bed, a leather-bound journal sitting open on his crossed legs. Evan hummed softly as he bit at the end of his own in thought.

The boy was wearing only some sky blue pajama pants, wrapped in a nice blanket his mom had gotten him when he was younger. He was propped up with what seemed to be a million pillows as he wrote in the journal, feeling abnormally at peace.

Until he heard the screech of car tires against his driveway, and a loud _BANG_ as the door slammed open and Connor yelled up the stairs, "EV! ARE YOU IN HERE?! I'M COMING UPSTAIRS!"

Evan's breath quickened as he quickly stood up and threw the journal aside, looking around for a loose t-shirt, or _ANYTHING_ to cover himself with.

It was too late. Connor, of course, had already hurried upstairs and into the unsuspecting teen's bedroom. Evan let out a little squeak, turning away from Connor, embarrassed and panicked. Connor quirked an eyebrow, confused.

"Ev, babe, you gonna turn around or do you want me to talk to your back?" Connor forced a smirk, trying to calm his own nerves as well as Evan's. Evan blushed, turning his head over his shoulder to look at Connor.

But he wouldn't turn around, not at the risk of Connor seeing his stomach.

Connor frowned deeply, noticing how uncomfortable and tense his boyfriend seemed. He stepped forward slowly, extending a pale, lanky arm towards Evan. The smaller boy immediately tensed up, causing Connor to cringe and quickly retract his arm. Evan noticed how upset Connor seemed, and he felt the urge to apologize.

"I-I'm sorry... I just, I just don't like m-my stomach." This caused Connor to wilt. How could Evan POSSIBLY think that about himself!?

"Ev, you don't have to be sorry. It's okay, I promise. But I kinda have a request?" Evan turned his head, seeing Connor standing with his arms extended.

"Can we maybe cuddle? Your room is cold." The taller boy smirked, causing Evan's freckled cheeks to light up in a reddish-pink blush. He thought for a minute.

' _Was it worth it? Was Connor just gonna make fun of him? No, Connor seemed genuine. He... he wouldn't... right?'_ His thoughts were interrupted by Connor.

"Ev, you're over-thinking it. I promise nothing bad will happen. It's just cuddling. I wanted to talk to you, which is why I'm even here. If you don't want to cuddle, you don't have to. I won't be mad, okay?" Evan considered his options for awhile longer, before slowly nodding.

"But I, I have a request of my own." Evan turned around shyly, barely able to look Connor in the eyes, "You, you have to take off your shirt too." Connor blushed a bright red, completely shocked at request. Evan noticed this and cringed, rushing to make things better.

"I mean you don't have to it was just a suggest omigosh I'm so sorry-" Evan's ramblings were silenced as he watched Connor remove his shirt.

_Cute..._

"Now, are we snuggling or what?" Worrying that words would fail him, Evan chose to simply nod in response, his face still a bright red.

Connor grabbed Evan around the waist, causing him to squeak as Connor pulled them both back into Evan's bed.

Connor's face puckered up as he desperately tried not to laugh. His attempts were futile, as giggles managed to escape his chapped lips. This made Evan bury his head in Connor's chest, embarrassed.

Connor took the initiative to grab Evan's waist, rolling both of them onto their sides. Evan laughed at Connor, who couldn't help but stare at Evan's face.

Evan noticed Connor's staring, and he yet again blushed, snuggling into Connor's side. In response, the taller of the two teens rested his head atop the smaller boy's head, rubbing Evan's back soothingly as he closed his eyes.

They stayed like that for nearly fifteen minutes before Connor remembered what he'd come here to say. Reluctantly, he pulled back so that he could meet Evan's eyes. Evan whimpered slightly at the loss of contact, but he could tell by looking at Connor's downtrodden expression that the boy had something important to say. Connor cleared his throat, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"So, y'know how Dad and I have been looking at local rehab centers, right?" Evan had also moved into a sitting position, and he nodded to what his boyfriend was saying.

"Well we found one, a really nice one actually." Evan's eyes immediately lit up, and he broke into a childish grin. He hugged Connor tightly.

"That, that's so great! I'm really, really g-glad." Evan pulled back, but frowned as he saw that Connor's face was still unsmiling.

"W-what's wrong?" Evan questioned.

"It's almost three hours away. And the program is one and a half months long." Evan's frowned deepened. He couldn't say he liked the idea of being that far away for that long, but he knew he needed to encourage Connor to do what was best for him.

"That's, that's okay, Con. I can, I can use Mom's car and drive up. I know it seems hard, but I think it'll, it'll all be okay. I promise." He smiled, giving Connor a tight hug.

Connor smiled, tears of joy pricking in the corner of his eyes as he hugged back tightly.

_Where would he be without Evan?_

^^^^^^

Connor's nose scrunched as sunlight streamed through his bedroom window. He groaned, turning over in his bed and pulling a pillow over his head. He grimaced when he realized what it smelt like.

Smoke. Weed, specifically. The smell reminded Connor exactly what was happening on this day. The pale boy sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes before grabbing his phone off of the bedside table.

He typed in his password, opening iMessages to find three new texts from Evan, and one from Zoe.

 ** _Ev_** 🌳💕 ** _:_** _good morning!!_

 ** _Ev_** 🌳💕 ** _:_** _are u excited for today?_

 ** _Ev_** 🌳💕 ** _:_** _i'll_ _come by ur house when you're awake to help u get ready :-)_

Connor smiled at the texts, shooting back a reply.

**_Connor:_ ** _i'm awake, u don't have to come but I won't be complaining if u do ;)_

With that taken care of, Connor opened the text from Zoe. Of course, he could just go talk to her but that seemed like too much work. Besides, he didn't really feel like getting out of bed.

 ** _Zoe_** ✨ ** _:_** _wake up shit head_

**_Connor:_ ** _fuck u_

**_Zoe_** ✨ ** _:_** _seriously come take a shower hobo and you need to get ready but I stg if u drink all the milk i won't hesitate to murder you_

**_Connor:_ ** _damn Zo I can be a hobo if I wanna be a hobo. #hoboequality or whatever._

**_Zoe_** ✨ ** _:_** _yeah okay, just take a shower and eat or i'll steal Evan._

**_Connor:_ ** _bitch u wouldn't_

**_Zoe_** ✨ ** _:_** _try me_

**_Connor:_ ** _F I N E_

Connor laughed, closing his phone and forcing himself to get out of bed. He stretched, placing his phone on his bedside drawer before walking to his closet and grabbing some clothes before heading off to his bathroom to get himself ready for the day ahead.

^^^^^^

Evan was in a shower, getting ready to go see Connor before he left for rehab when he heard his phone go off.

Worried something may be wrong, the freckled boy quickly shut off the water, wrapped a fluffy blue towel around his torso, and reached for his phone. He smiled when he saw a text from Connor.

 ** _Connie_** 🖤🖤 ** _:_** _i'm awake, u do don't have to come but i won't be complaining if u do ;)_

Evan blushed at the message, smiling as he started typing a message back to Connor.

**_Evan:_ ** _of course I want to come! i just got out of the shower, i'll be at ur place in about 15 minutes, is that okay?_

The teen shuffled around his room, searching for a good outfit, one Connor might like while he waited for said boy to respond.

Looking through his closet, Evan eventually settled for a black sweater he stole from Connor and a pair of regular blue jeans.

Just as he finished dressing, Evan heard a _ding!_ from his phone, and he rushed over to answer.

 ** _Connie_** 🖤🖤 ** _:_** _what did i do to deserve you Evvie?_

 ** _Evan:_** _you existed_ 💕

^^^^^^

The Murphy's and Evan drove down what seemed to be an endless, winding country road. They had been driving for almost two hours. At this point in their journey, everyone was tired and generally irritable.

Larry was driving, while Cynthia chatted excitedly with him from her spot in shotgun. Zoe, who sat in the middle seat of the van, had her ear buds in, her head up against the car window as she slept.

Connor and Evan were occupying the back seats, Evan's head resting peacefully against Connor's shoulder as they listened to musicals on shuffle.

Connor, however, could not rest. If he was being honest with himself, he was scared. He had no idea what the people in that place could be like! What if they were the types of people who sucked dick for meth?!

He relaxed a bit when he heard gentle snoring. Connor looked down, smiling when he saw that Evan was now sleeping peacefully against his shoulder.

He leaned forward, giving the freckled teen a quick peck on the forehead.

At least he had Evan.

^^^^^^

There is was. _The Schuyler Rehabilitation Center for Troubled Adolescents._

Connor had to admit that it was a very pretty building. It had a calm atmosphere to it, which was definitely not what he had been expecting.  
There were huge oak trees in the front that Evan couldn't stop raving about.

As the Murphy's and Evan walked to the glass double doors, Connor's stomach sank.

He was surprised when a rather pretty, kind looking woman in a blue pantsuit. She had long black hair, and her eyes were chocolate brown. She appeared to be in her thirties.

"Hello! Welcome to _SRCTA_! Please, come inside! My name is Miss Elizabeth Schuyler, but you can call me Eliza." They arrived at the front desk, and Eliza logged into a computer before looking up and addressing the family once again.

"May I have your name?" She looked directly at Connor, and her loving, motherly smile never once faltered.

Damn. Was it THAT obvious that Connor was the one they were there for?

"Connor. Connor Murphy, Ms. Eliza." Connor's cheeks dusted pink, and he awkwardly looked at his feet.

"Ah yes, Connor, here you are!" She smiled at him once again before turning around and reaching into a filing cabinet. She briefly scanned through them, before letting out an "ah ha!" and pulling out three different forms. She handed them to Cynthia and Larry.

"Here, if you could please fill these out, it would be very much appreciated!" Eliza giggled a bit, as Mr. and Mrs. Murphy thanked her and went to sit down in a small waiting area. After the adults had sat down, she turned to the three teens.

"Hello! What are your names? Obviously I already know Connor, but what about you two?" Eliza smiled kindly, seemingly radiating positivity. She made Connor feel certain he'd made the right decision to come here.

"Zoe Murphy, Connor's sister."

"Evan, Evan H-Hansen, ma'am."

"Oh, no need for the formalities! So Evan, if you aren't a brother, what are you to Connor here?"

Evan and Connor both blushed, awkwardly glancing at each other.

"U-um... well..." Evan pulled at his shirt collar, unsure what else to say. Eliza laughed.

"Boyfriends, right?" Both boys just slowly nodded, and Ms. Eliza cooed. Evan was pretty sure she'd be pinching their cheeks if she could.

It was at that moment that the Murphy parents finished their paperwork. They rejoined the group and Ms. Eliza quickly took it, filing it quickly and efficiently.

She turned to the family (and Evan) again.

"Okay, well, I guess it's time that the program starts. I have a packet for each of the family members to take with some general information. I really hope you do come for visiting hours. I know it's a bit far away, but I'd love to see you all again! Now, I hope you don't mind but we need to get started so I'll let you say your goodbyes while I take these files to the back. Okay?"

As Eliza left, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy gave Connor many hugs, telling him how much they loved him and how proud they were. Connor would be lying if he said he weren't tearing up a bit. After his parents finally let him go, he turned to Zoe.

Zoe gave him a fake salute, and he laughed through some tears. He walked he two steps to her, wrapping her in a bear hug. Zoe whispered into his ear.

"I'm so proud of you Con. I love you, okay? You're a dick, but I love you." Connor let her go, punching her shoulder and laughing, though tears still streamed down his cheeks.

Finally, he turned to Evan. What could be said to Evan in such a short amount of time.

Because neither boy knew a damn thing about expressing emotions through words, they showed it in a more natural way.

Connor leaned in, wrapping his arms around Evans's waist and pulling him closer. Evan stood on his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Connor's neck as their lips met. Both felt electricity spark in the kiss.

Eliza chose that moment to walk in.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, am I interrupting?"


	25. Rehab Arc: Part Two

Connor walked behind Eliza as she talked. He already liked her; she was obviously incredibly sweet. She was the kind of person that could put someone at ease simply by being herself, which seemed appropriate for working with fucked up teens.

"Okay Connor. So later today, you'll be attending a group therapy session. Then we all have lunch! Don't worry though, my youngest sister and I help with cooking, as do some of your peers. So the food won't taste like the crap they serve at schools." Connor cracked a smile at that, but he had to admit to himself that the idea of "group therapy" made him nervous.

"You'll also have an hour of _personal_ therapy with my wife, Maria. She's a therapist for youth. This session will be followed by another 15 minutes session with our _psychiatrist_ , Dr. Madden." Connor nodded. This didn't seem too bad. Maybe because it was hard to be uncomfortable with Eliza around.

"So, um, the website and shi- uh, _stuff_ mentioned that we have a roommates?" Eliza nodded happily.

"Yes. We're heading to your room right now. Also don't worry about the swearing thing. We're pretty lenient with that." Connor sighed, relieved. It would have been hard to not swear at all.

"Anyways, because you are part of the LGBTQ community, we also have a special offer for you. We have an extra group session for LGBTQ teens. This will include Maria and myself, several other staff members, and multiple other teens. What do you think?" Eliza gave Connor such a loving, kind smile that he couldn't help but say -

"Yeah, okay. That sounds... okay?" Eliza clapped, smiling even wider than before.

**^^^^^^**

"Yo Eliza, hey!" A tall, Filipino teenager wearing a red hoodie with multiple patches and glasses jumped up from a bunk bed to engulf Eliza in what seemed to be a crushing hug.

Despite that, Eliza only giggled and returned the hug.

"Hello Michael, it's nice to see you!"

 _"Huh. Michael... he doesn't seem_ ** _too_** _bad."_ Connor thought as he awkwardly shuffled his feet, watching the two interact. Suddenly, he was ripped from his thoughts as Eliza grabbed his hand and placed him in front of Michael. The other teen, Michael, gave Connor a bright smile that seemed _WAY_ too big for a human face.

"Heyo dude! I'm Michael Mell, but you can call me Michael, Micha, Master, whatever floats your boat." Connor nodded, before realizing exactly what Michael had said.

"I, um, I think I'll just stick with Michael..." Michael shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. Connor coughed lightly, slightly annoyed.

"I'm Connor Murphy. You can call me Connor." Michael laughed, seemingly pretty chill despite Connor's obvious attitude.

"Well, I'll leave you boys to set up and get used used to each other. Michael, could you please show Connor around once he's ready and settled?"

Michael nodded and gave an "okay" sign with his hand.

"Thank you sweetie! Okay Connor, Michael, I've got other stuff to take care of but I'll check on you two boys later. Bye you two!"

Both boys waved, though Connor's wave was definitely much more awkward than Michael's; it was obvious to Connor that he wasn't new.

Michael broke the awkward silence with a laugh, and he turned to Connor, flopping onto the bed.

"Mrs. Eliza is hella nice, so are most of the people here." He chuckled. Connor simply nodded, choosing to focus on unpacking rather than Michael.

"Need any help, uh, Connor, was it?"

"Sure, I guess." In truth, Connor kinda felt bad for Michael. It was clear he was really trying to help Connor feel at home. Michael broke into a goofy grin, jumping up to assist his roommate.

**^^^^^^**

Connor and Michael sat on the bottom bunk, done unpacking Connors stuff. Both boys were laughing and talking, acting like that had been friends for two years as opposed to two hours.

"He said what?!" Connor snorted, listening to Michael ramble about his boyfriend.

"He told me he was "multitasking", dude, it was so fucking awkward. I mean, I wasn't exactly complaining but he could've tried a little harder." Michael's laughs subsided to giggles. After a few more minutes, Michael got up to stretch. He then looked at the clock, and a look of horror crossed his face.

"SHIT, DUDE, WE'RE LATE FOR LUNCH! C'MON, WE'VE GOTTA GO!" Michael grabbed his arm, pulling him quickly out the door.

It was finally time to get started with rehab... after he had some food.


	26. Rehab Arc: Part Three

Michael walked with a bounce in his step, humming along to a Bob Marley song. He grabbed a tray, getting in line behind several other people. Connor trudged behind him, watching the other patients and staff warily. He too picked up a tray, following Michael's example.

"Dude, no need to be so nervous! Everyone here is SUPER chill. I know it's a bit intimidating , but it isn't bad." Connor forced a small smile, trying to calm his anxiety. He knew deep down that this obviously wasn't a bad place, but he couldn't help being nervous. He didn't exactly have the best track record with other people. 

Before long, Connor was next in the lunch line. A darker skinned girl with bouncy brown curls tied into a ponytail smiled at him; Peggy, Connor remembered.

"Hi! You must be new. My name's Peggy! What would you like to eat?" Peggy was very bubbly, and she spoke rather quickly. Despite that, she seemed very nice. Connor managed a small smile back before replying.

"Yeah, I'm new. My name's Connor and, uh, I guess I'll have the chicken nuggets?"

Peggy grinned once again, setting about making his plate. Connor watched for a bit, unsure if he should try to continue making conversation. He was broken out of his thinking by Peggy speaking to him.

"Are french fries okay? And what would you like for a vegetable and drink?" 

"Um, yeah, french fries are cool. I'll take green beans and water, thanks." Peggy put the food on a plate before handing it and the water bottle to him. He thanked her, said goodbye, then hastily left the line. Connor scanned the cafeteria, quickly spotting Michael, who waved him over enthusiastically.

Connor sat beside Michael, plopping his tray down. Michael leaned over to inspect his food choices before grinning at him.

"Aw man, nuggies! Good choice, dude!"

"Don't ever say the word "nuggies" again." Connor replied, glaring at Michael, who laughed.

Connor sipped at his water and ate, talking with Michael throughout the lunch period. When the hour was up, Connor and Michael made their way to group therapy.

**^^^^^^**

Connor tapped his foot, unable to really listen to Michael speak. He was beyond nervous; hell, he already didn't very much like people. Now he had to share his problems openly in front of a bunch of strangers? Not exactly his idea of fun.

Connor was knocked out of his stupor by Michael tapping him on the shoulder and giving him a concerned look.

"Hey, dude, you okay?" Connor shuffled in his chair, chewing his lip. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, just, I don't know. I've never been really great with people. So I guess this just makes me nervous." Michael gave a sympathetic smile, nodding.

"I get it man. It's not easy, y'know? But seriously, it helps. And hey, like I said, people here are pretty nice. OH, and Mrs. Eliza runs this session. At least you know her." Connor relaxed slightly, feeling a tad better.

"Yeah, cool. Thanks Michael."

"No problem-o." Connor just rolled his eyes and smirked.

**^^^^^^**

"Hello everyone! My name is Mrs. Schuyler, but most of you already know that. You may call me Eliza, though, as we're all friends here. We're going to spend this time speaking openly. I don't want to hear any negative comments, alright? We're all going through similar situations and we can't stand to be judgemental. Now, would somebody like to start?" Eliza's voice was kind, but firm. When she wrapped up her lecture, she looked around the circle of about twenty teenagers, hoping for a volunteer.

A girl, looking to be about seventeen, raised her hand. She had somewhat curly brown hair tied into a loose ponytail.

"Ah, yes, Natalie!" Eliza gestured towards the girl, Natalie, and gave her a comforting smile. Said girl then stood, a tired expression on her face.

"Uh, yeah. My name's Natalie. I recently turned seventeen. I'm here because family life wasn't all that great and because of that, I got into some bad stuff. My Dad thought it would be good for me to come here so yeah, here I am." Natalie coughed awkwardly, sitting down and crossing her legs.

Connor blinked, surprised to hear someone with a similar (albeit totally different) situation to his own right out of the gate. He kinda zoned out after that, lost in his own thoughts. 

Eventually, it was just Michael and himself left to share. Michael offered to go first, and Connor silently thanked him for that.

"Heya! I'm Michael. I'm here because I have a huge addiction to weed and my moms caught on and kinda freaked out. So I'm here to sort it out so I can hopefully quit." Eliza beamed, talking with Michael and some others before it went quiet. Suddenly, everyone had turned to Connor. He froze, unsure of what to do.

"Connor, would you like to share?" Connor gulped, turning to Michael. He gave Connor an encouraging smile and nod before finger gunning at him. Connor returned the smile, then stood.

"Hey. I'm new, my name's Connor. I've been to rehab before for some worse stuff, but I'm here now because of a weed addiction. It didn't really stick before because I didn't really see a reason to try to get better, but I found some motivation so... yeah. Here I am, I guess." Connor shrugged, cringing. Despite his awkwardness, Eliza and Michael both seemed happy for him.

"That's great, Connor! I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm also glad to have the opportunity to meet you, and I'm sure many others are as well. I'm glad you've finally found motivation to better yourself, and we'll help to make it as easy for you as possible." Eliza smiled, and many other's sitting in the circle did as well. 

They all continued to talk, until eventually, Eliza announced that the hour was up. He said goodbye to Michael, then began to head to one on one therapy. 

**^^^^^^**

Connor approached a wooden door. On the door rested a nameplate that read "Dr. Maria Reynolds, PhD". He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Almost immediately, a dark skinned woman with deep brown hair swung open the door, looking up at Connor with a smile.

"Hello, you must be Connor Murphy. Come on in!" Connor remained silent, following Dr. Reynolds into the room. Inside of the room was a simple desk that held a red binder. It also had a nice window and a single red loveseat. Maria sat behind her desk, gesturing towards the loveseat. Hesitantly, Connor took a seat. He then noticed a picture of the therapist and Mrs. Eliza sitting on the corner of Maria's desk.

"Uh, nice picture. It's really pretty." Maria looked confused at first, but then beamed.

"Oh, thank you! This is actually from the day we got engaged."

"Cool." Connor replied, giving her a small nod. Maria, still smiling, turned her attention from the photo back onto Connor.

"Well, since you're new, I figure we can spend some time getting to know one another before we get into the serious stuff, okay?"

Connor simply nodded again.

"Alright, well, I'll start. My name is Maria Reynolds-Schuyler, and I'm bisexual. I'm thirty-two, and my wife is obviously Eliza. I'm a therapist for adolescents, and I deal primarily with abuse, addiction, and mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety." She gave Connor a pleasant smile, signaling to him that it was his turn to start.

"Uh, my name's Connor Murphy, and I'm gay. I'm seventeen and I have a boyfriend named Evan. I'm here because I've got a lot of problems."

Maria simply nodded, listening to Connor speak. When he was done, she pulled out a notebook and pencil.

"Alright Connor, that's awesome. I'm very pleased to meet you. Now, I'm going to start asking you some more serious questions, and I'd like you to give me your honest answers." 

"Okay..."

Maria flipped to a new page in her notebook, "Okay, well, let's start easy. How are you feeling, being new to the program?"

"Well, I mean, it's odd. I'm still pretty nervous, but it's really not as bad as I thought it would be. I just can't really shake the feeling that I don't deserve it." Connor wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling cold.

"And why's that?" Maria continued scribbling notes, but her voice held genuine concern.

"Well, to be honest, I'm really not a good person. I've hurt a lot of people. I hurt my sister, my parents, my peers, and even my boyfriend. I don't even really know why, exactly. My parents were good parents and growing up I was almost always happy. But then, I started doing drugs and hurting a lot of people. I always felt so sad and angry and just... lost. And I took it out on everyone around me just because I felt like shit." Connor had tears brimming his eyes. 

Maria had placed her notebook down, and was now looking directly at Connor. She nodded, pushing him a box of tissues. He thanked her quietly and dabbed at his eyes with a tissue. Maria nodded, then looked him dead in the eyes.

"I can understand a lot of that better then you may think, Connor. I've had a lot of... misfortune in my life. But I can tell you with certainty that things do indeed get better. I know that probably sounds incredibly cheesy, but it's the truth. Tell me, do you want to get better?"

"Y-yeah." Connor sniffled, and Maria smiled softly at him.

"Then you will, and we'll do all we can to make it as easy for you as possible. This situation is not hopeless, Connor. You're owning up to your mistakes and trying to correct them. That doesn't magically erase all of your problems, obviously, but it's definitely a step in the right direction." Connor managed a small smile and nodded, thanking Maria.

"It's no trouble at all. Now, let's continue, okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."


	27. Rehab Arc: Part Four

Connor and Dr. Reynolds-Schuyler continued to converse, and the boy was glad to find he felt relatively comfortable with the woman. By the time the allotted hour was up, he felt as though only thirty minutes had passed. Maria got up to switch off her alarm, giving Connor a kind smile. He smiled right back, albeit tiredly.

He was surprised to discover how tired he felt upon standing, cursing softly when he discovered his leg had that awful pins-and-needles sensation. Maria elected to ignore the language, gently huffing air out of her nose in fond amusement at the teen's antics.

"Alright, Mr. Murphy. Now, I'd like to discuss medications with you. Because you have a history of substance abuse, we'll have to be careful. I'm going to prescribe you thirty milligrams of Buspar to be taken in the mornings, and 0.5 milligrams of Klonopin to be taken as needed. We will administer medications as needed, and keep count. I'd like to keep seeing you for sessions on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, alright? Make sure to let me know if you see any negative side effects with the medications." Maria smiled again, before offering her hand to Connor to shake. He did so, thankful for the doctor's straight forward language and lack of babying.

As he turned to walk back to his room, he smiled to himself, feeling hopeful.

^^^^^^

"Hey pal, how's it hangin'?" Michael called to Connor as soon as he entered, sliding off one side of his headphones and grinning like a madman. Connor rolled his eyes, smirking.

"S'fine, but I'm more fuckin' tired then I figured I'd be." As he spoke, the taller teen slumped onto his bed, somewhat dramatically. Michael chuckled, adjusting his glasses to better observe his roommate.

"Yeah, first days will do that to you. Hey man, why don't you take a nap? I'm gonna groove until dinner, so I can wake you up in, I dunno, an hour?" Connor made a noise of acknowledgement, opting to roll onto his side, wordlessly accepting the offered nap.

^^^^^^

He awoke to the ungodly screaming of a distorted version of the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song directly in his ear, making him jump bolt upright. The noise was coupled with a cackling laugh. Connor, eyesight still blurred with shock and sleep, turned to glare at the source of the sound. He found Michael, doubled over in laughter; he threw a pillow at the boy.

"Aw, c'mon now! Don't be like that, Murphy. I didn't know if you'd be cool with me shaking you awake, so-"

"-so you thought it would be better to unleash Satan's Tank Engine in my ear?" Connor finished, interrupting. Michael just beamed, still calming down from his hysterical laughter.

"Exactly!"

"I can't stand you."

"Thanks, dude! Anyways, that was fun and all, but we should probably get to dinner, yeah?" Connor nodded, and they were off.

^^^^^^

Connor Murphy's routine continued in much the same way for the rest of his stay at Schuyler's Rehabilitation Center for Troubled Adolescents. He made friends aside from Michael, he attended his therapy sessions. His meds were adjusted, and he finally felt like he was really, truly doing better. Detox had been a living hell, just as he expected. But he'd made it through, and he almost couldn't believe that his stay was coming to an end.

This evening, the Murphy's and Evan Hansen would be there to retrieve him, and though he was sad to leave his new friends, he couldn't wait to see his Evan, and his family. He also couldn't wait to have some goddamn McDonald's again.

Michael had left a week prior, but Connor had gotten his phone number. After gathering his things, he left his room to give his thanks to Dr. Maria and Mrs. Eliza, and to say his goodbyes to the aforementioned couple and some of his other new friends.

"Oh, Connor, I'll miss you so much. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to shoot us an email, alright?" Eliza smiled brightly at him, pulling him into a kind hug, which Connor was glad to return. Next, Maria approached him, taking her wife's place to offer a tight hug, as she pulled away from the embrace, she spoke.

"I'll miss you too, Mr. Murphy. Remember everything we've talked about, alright? And your parents, they've already set you up with sessions for the doctor I recommended?" Connor nodded, giving them a genuine grin.

"Yeah, they got it taken care of. Thanks for everything." Suddenly, Eliza perked up, looking just above Connor's shoulder, waving. Connor perked up, spinning around on his heel.

There stood his family, and, of course, Evan. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt, looking at them. Cynthia Murphy was crying through her smile, and Larry Murphy looked proud. Then there was Zoe, who stuck her tongue out at him, though her eyes were soft along with her smile.

And Evan. Evan Hansen, who Connor hadn't seen since drop off. He let go of his suitcase, running to the other boy, wrapping long arms around his shoulders, burying his nose in dirty-blond hair. Evan immediately reciprocated, throwing his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pressing his face into his shoulder. They stood there, breathing one another in, until someone cleared their throat.

"Ahem, you guys do know we're still in public, right? Gross." The pulled apart, Connor glaring at his sister, sticking his tongue out at her. She did the same right back.

"Alright guys, knock it off. Come on. Connor, we already signed you out. Larry, I think Connor's a bit... occupied. Could you grab the suitcase." Her husband jokingly saluted, moving to grab his son's things. Cynthia was smiling gently at the boys, tears still welled in her eyes. Her son looked undeniably better, and she was so, so thrilled to see it. He had an air about him, radiating a sense of peace. It was then that she was certain that, this time, things truly would be better.


	28. New Beginnings

A year had passed, and with it passed Connor and Evan's senior year. When he had initially returned to school, Connor was concerned that all of his progress would set back, and he'd be exactly where he started.

However, before, he hadn't had Evan Hansen. He hadn't had the genuine support of his family, or working medications, or a good psychiatrist. He had even developed a tentative friendship with Jared and Alana.

And, of course, there was Heidi Hansen, who'd basically become like a second mother to him. Life was better than he ever though he could get. Before he knew it, he was throwing his cap into the air at graduation, something he never thought he'd get the chance to do. 

It was an emotional day, that's for sure. Cynthia sobbed, Zoe cried, and Larry had tears running down his face as they pulled Connor into a hug, silent tears flowing down his own cheeks. As they pulled away, Zoe teasingly pulled his cap over his eyes, and he threw his arm around her shoulders, mussing her hair and making her laugh.

Before he knew it, he was being ran down by Evan Hansen.

"Connor, oh my god. Holy shit, we did it. Oh my god." Evan was shaking slightly, grinning with adrenaline running its course on his body, riding the high of high school graduation. Connor laughed, unable to help pressing a sweet peck to his over-excited boyfriend's lips.

"Yeah baby, we did." He wrapped Evan in a hug, smiling gently and closing his eyes, sighing in contentment as he rested his chin on the shorter boy's head.

"Oh, wow, gross. Physical affection, nasty. Stop it, this is a place of JESUS." Connor's eyes snapped open, watching as Jared Kleinman faked vomited, Alana shoving her elbow into his side as the two walked over to join the Murphys and Hansens.

"Shove it, Kleinman. We've earned this shit. And _WHAT_ "Jesus", this is a high school graduation, not a baptism, asshole." Evan giggled, pressing his cheek into Connor's chest.

"Eh, whatever Murphy. Hey, acorn, grad party still on for tonight?" Evan pulled away from Connor, smiling.

"Yeah, we're good. My house, 5 PM."

"We'll all be there, Evan! Now, I've got to go and visit with my parents. I'll see you later!" Alana beamed, quickly pulling Evan and Connor into hugs, both of them congratulating for her valedictorian speech. 

Soon, everyone had begun to shuffle out of the auditorium. After some more chatting with the Murphys and Heidi Hansen, Connor and Evan left, hand in hand, hopping into Connor's car. As soon as the doors had been closed, the pair let out a tired sigh, grinning at each other. Connor rubbed circles onto his boyfriend's hand with his thumb, and Evan laughed.

"What's so funny, Hansen?" He quirked an eyebrow at the blond boy. Evan looked at him with wide eyes, his smile never slipping.

"Nothin'. I just... I never was sure I'd make it this far, y'know?" Connor's smile went soft, and he raised their intertwined hand to his lips, kissing the back of Evan's hand.

"Yeah, it's surreal. But, hey, if it weren't for you? I might not be here." He leaned over the car's center console, placing a firm, but loving kiss on Evan, who blushed.

"Yeah, same here. I love you, Connor."

"I love you too, Ev. Now, ya ready to get going?" Evan grinned, nodding.

"Yup. We have the rest of our lives to get to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for sticking with me, and thank you for continuing to read. I hope this ending was satisfactory. I tried my best to end it in a way that makes sense for the story, but also did not drag things on. I love all of you so much, and I'll catch y'all on the flip side! Keep it cool, everyone. And thank you for the experience you've given me!


End file.
